How do You Leave the Past Behind?
by Frodosarrow
Summary: sequel to Blue Eyed Vampire As a vampire, you have to be able to leave the past. But for Jera, the past doesn't want to be buried.
1. Dance Dance

**Hello friends. If you are reading this, it means I've gotten through my first story with Jera Gunner (You might not remember that's her last name) YAY!**

**As you can guess, my last statement means that this was written while I was writing the first story. (Chapter 25 to be exact)**

**Here comes the Disclaimer: Like I said last time. I DON'T own Twilight, no surprise there. However, I DO own my characters.**

**Anyway, enjoy.**

"Five, six seven eight!" Chanted our dance teacher Miss Kelly. I growled lightly as I turned to my partner, the ever lovely (sarcasm) Melanie. She was short with glasses could pass as twelve but was seventeen. Melanie has spastic motions and was a horrible dancer. I had no idea how or why she was placed so high in our dance studio.

"Be kind, Jera," Alice said quietly. I looked across the room. Alice was doing the choreography with her partner, her mouth shut. Damn those ventriloquist books she had.

Bella, who was standing of to the side, not in this part of the dance joined in. "Yeah Jera, don't you feel bad for her?" I growled in reply.

When I got a chance to turn around, I hissed at them. "You don't have to partner with that thing." They giggled. I rolled my eyes, wishing I could kill them. My exist for the section finally came. Alice was suddenly leaning next to me on the mirrors. I whacked her hard despite the lack of impact it would have.

"This rehersal ends, when?" I asked in anticipation.

"Never," she said manically. I growled at her and then turned to one of my human friends, Taylor. It seemed that I was more capable of making human friends than Bella and Alice.

She laughed at me. "It's not fun! You try having to," I looked around, Melanie was with earshot. So I spoke in the made up language we had perfected. (After many "sleepovers") "Partenering with Melanie."

"Aw, come on it can't be...well yes it is," Taylor continued in our language.

"You," I said pointing at her with both fingers. "Are the worst friend ever." She mocked cried. Hoping she wouldn't notice, I pushed her back with my mind. Behind me I heard Alice starting to scold me and I pushed her back too.

"Ok, five minute water break," Miss Kelly aid as she turn off the music. I walked over to get my water bottle.

I passed Scarlet, another friend, to pick up my water and pretended to drink it. "Jera, I saw what you did to Taylor," she remarked lightly. I grinned. Scarlet was a really good friend. She had always been one to me since we moved to Riverside, Illinois three years earlier. So much, that two years ago, I told her about the Cullen's and my family. (Which would be me, Gabriel, and I considered Jacob part of my family although we aren't married, yet...)

"Oh really? Want my water?" I asked holding the bottle out. Scarlet nodded and took it.

She took a sip. "You know, I pity you. After all you have to partener with..."

"Don't say it, or I will literally suck the life out of you right now."

Scarlet laughed at me and started taking a drink. I snatched the water away from her, teasing her. "No fair!" she pouted.

"Very fair." There was a light tap on my shoulder. "Hey Bells," I said without turning around. "Do you know what time rehersal ends? Alice wouldn't tell me."

"Eh, I think 2:30, right Scarl?" Bella and Alice had grown very fond of Scarlet. Even Rosalie liked her to some degree.

"Yeah." I looked up at the clock, thirty more minutes. Then I growled.

Alice was then next to me. "Wow, you are not in a good mood day today."

"Well I'm anxious. Jacob and Gabriel have been keeping a secret from me. I can't read minds anymore. And Jacob won't give up information no matter what I do."

"So what makes you think that it will be today?" Bella asked.

"Because that was the one bit of information I was able to get out of them. That's the only problem with us not living with you guys." The Cullen's had two houses in Riverside, for some unknown reason. So, when we moved here, they let Jacob, Gabriel, and I, (Oh, and our dog, Rocket too) live in the smaller one, which was still pretty large.

Scarlet frowned. "Do you think it will be bad?" she asked. I laughed lightly.

"I highly doubt that one." But of course, a seed of doubt had just been planted in my mind. And being me, it would turn into a fulfledged fear by the time I got home.

Alice jerked her head to the door. I smelled it too, it was Edward and Jacob. They enjoyed coming to the rehersals to watch us. Every girl, but Scarlet, was surprised that we had kept around the same boys for three years. The two were chatting to each other. They laughed. I growled. Edward probably knows the secret right now. Joy.

"Ok, break's up!" Miss Kelly turned on the music. I growled again, that was not five minutes.

The rest of rehersal flew past me. Bella gathered her things the fastest of us three and flung herself into Edward's arms ASAP. "Bye, Jera, good luck," Scarlet said as I stood up to leave. I nodded my head and smiled. Alice then tapped me on the shoulder. She smiled a suspicious grin. Her vision smile, as I have come to call it. I walked away.

"That better be a good sign Alice," I called over my shoulder. She giggled.

"Bye, Jer."

"Hmm."

"Don't be grumpy." Grumpy? Interesting choice of words.

"Hello," Jacob said happily.

"Hi." I kissed him on the cheek.

"We should be getting home."

"Yes, we should."

"Yeah, so should we," Edward said. "But someone is taking forever." Alice giggled.

"Alice, don't make me chop your head off," Bella whined.

I wanted to get going. "Ok, well we can go right, Jake?" I asked.

"Nah, let's wait for Alice."

"I will assist Bella in chopping your head off, Alice," I threatened. She appeared at the door.

"Oh, I'm scared," she mocked. Edward rolled his eyes and grabbed Alice's arm tightly.

"Thank you," I said. I then grabbed Jacob and dragged him out behind the others.

The sky was cloudy. That was lucky. Although I enjoyed Illinois greatly. It wasn't anywhere near as cloudy as Forks. Quickly, I spotted Jacob's old Rabbit and ran to it at a very fast human pace, just in case anyone was looking. Jacob, however, took to a slower pace. I slid over into the drivers seat, gripping the steering wheel impatiently.

At long last Jacob was in the car. "But I want to drive," he whined.

"Too bad." Then, I mentally retrieved his keys. "Thank you." Quickly, I started the engine and slammed Jacob's door. Before he even had his hand on the seatbelt, I was pulling out of the parking lot.

**I guess you are all kind of surprised. BECAUSE NOT ONE GUESSED A STATE. lol. They _are_ still in USA. My reason for that is to slowly dettach Bella from her human life. You know what I mean? Maybe not...it kind of ties into the rest of the story...**

**Also, the name of my story is a quote from a song in RENT. One of my inspirations.**


	2. Surprised?

As I drove, a CD started. Soon, the sounds of the musical Chicago were blasting through the car. I had become attached to musicals ever since I've came here. It was Scarlet's doing. I don't blame her though. Because, in a lot of ways I can relate to these songs.

Jacob kept smiling at me. I shook my head and frowned. Then, I accelerated the speed, making the old Rabbit whine a bit. "Hey!" he cried.

"Well, you should have brought my car." I looked at him, smiling smugly, one bit of triumph. He glared at me. In a couple of minutes, we were at our house.

I looked up to the second level of the old house, where the sunroom was. Gabriel was sitting there, his face pressed against the glass. When he saw me, he bolted out of the room. What on earth were they planning? I parked in the driveway. "I'm going in," I announced.

Much to my surprise, Jacob didn't protest. "Ok, see you later, I'm going to get the...er...mail." I rolled my eyes at his lame excuse and walked in. What were they planning?

When I got into the house, Rocket greeted me happily. I shooed her down to the basement where her bed is and then continued through the house. Nothing in the kitchen. I got to the main entrance and looked up the stairs. Everything was normal so far. Then I stepped into the family room.

The TV was on, Gabriel was pertched on an armchair, his face glued to the screen. He didn't even acknowledge my presence. It was then that I realized two heads popping up over the head of the couch. One head had curly strawberry blonde hair and the other short black spikey hair.

"Oh my God!" I squealed. "Anthony! Beth!" The head with strawberry blonde hair immediately jumped up and tackled me with a hug. I hugged her back. We pulled away. "How was Alaska?" I asked excitedly.

She rolled her eyes. "It actually got really cold! But, in the summer it was so gorgeous..." Anthony tapped my shoulder.

"I don't get a hug?" he asked mocking sadness. I squealed again and embraced him. In the background I heard Gabriel snickering, so I turned off the TV.

"Hey!" he shouted at me. I giggled happily.

I heard some footsteps sneak upstairs. Jacob. _Jacob._ Oh. "Where _are_ you guys staying?"

Bethany laughed. "Your guest house, silly! We wouldn't want tension here the whole time with your little lov-" I snapped her mouth closed and raised an eyebrow.

"No need for that," I remarked, then let go of her mouth.

"There was no need for that!" she shrieked, hugging me again. "Oh! You're new power! Remember the first time you got your power?" I shook my head.

"I'd rather not."

She let go of me. "I'm sorry, I forgot," she said quietly.

"It's ok," I smiled bleakly. "So, what brings you here?"

"Me!" Gabriel offered.

"Am I just not good enough for you?" I joked.

"No, just I miss all of us being together. And I'm sure they are tired of Alaska." Anthony and Bethany nodded their head vehemently. "You should here about it!"

Anthony smiled at me. "We got a lot of stories."

"Are you going to tell me any or just tell me about how you have stories?" Bethany rolled her eyes and dragged me into the kitchen, Anthony following closely behind. We went late into the night exchanging stories.

They asked me questions about Forks. I narrowed my eyes and said that I knew they must know most of my story. Bethany and Anthony looked down and nodded their heads. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Please, just please don't make me relive some of those things." Quietly they nodded their heads.

Bethany then got a miscevious look. "So," her eyes flashed. "What was it like you know with..." I rolled my eyes.

"Alice had a vision about it." Anthony snorted. "Luckily she can't see wolves."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Do I really have to tell you?" I whined.

"Yes," Anthony replied. "You know she won't give up."

"You're right. It was..." This subject always means one thing for me, humilation. No, I'm not embarrassed by it, just try explaining that you had sex with your "enemy" and enjoyed it. "Great," I finished. "And if you want anymore, then you'll have to ask somebody else."

Anthony laughed at my reply. While Bethany just glared at me. I smiled innocently. "Speaking of which," Anthony said tracing Bethany's collarbone. "Shall we?" He kissed her on the cheek. She smiled playfully and got up.

Before he left, I mouthed 'Thank you' to Anthony. He chuckled and nodded, then left the room. I looked at the time. 2:13 A.M. Gabriel was still watching TV.

" 'Night Gabe."

"Good night."

"Did you do your homework?"

"It's only Saturday. Besides, it takes like two minutes to do."

I smiled and walked upstairs. Gabriel and I both didn't like school, but we still went. In fact, I hadn't been the one protesting on going to school; it was Bella and Jacob...and Gabriel. But he didn't know anyone, and it's harder to conceal being a vampire when you are younger, but he's been able to do it. Alice, Bella, Jacob, Edward, and I were all in our junior year.

No one, however, was smart enough to notice that Jacob and I lived together. Or that in our house there was no official adult.

Silently I snuck into Jacob and my room. I changed into pajamas and snuggled up to Jacob who was sound asleep. When my cold skin touched him, he stirred. I kissed him on the cheek. "Good night, dear. Thanks for letting Bethany and Anthony staying here."

"No problem," he mumbled. "I love you."

I spent the rest of the night contemplating ways to hurt/kill a certain little person named Melanie. Yes, I know, I'm horrible...


	3. Left in the Dark

**Melanie is the annoy dance partner that Jera has to work with. It's a pain in the ass...**

**Anyway, I'm sorry I probably would have had more than just this for today, but everything is kind of crazy. One friend got surgery, another one came back from New York, and another had a birthday. So we kind of had a really long party for all three. (no, we weren't partying cas she had to get surgery. it was because her surgery went really well and she'll be able to dance in two weeks instead of months.)**

**Sorry for my random tangents. :) Enjoy**

Jacob woke up around 6:30. "Hello," I smiled. He rolled over and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hi," he kissed the top of my head. I snuggled in closer to him. "Did you enjoy your surprise?"

"Yes I did."

"Good, it took a lot of planning."

I closed my eyes. "What do you have planned for today?" I asked.

"Hmm...I have no idea. How about you?"

"I think Bella and Alice are coming over for a 'sleepover.' "

"No Darcy?" I opened my eyes and shook my head.

"It's Sunday."

"Yes, of course," he mumbled.

"Are you alright?"

"Who me?"

"No the elephant in the room."

Jacob groaned. "Yeah...I just had a...disturbing dream."

"Care to share?"

"I'd rather not."

"Ok," I stood up. Jacob looked at me. "No, I'm not mad at you," I answered his look. His expression shifted into a nervous and confused look. "And no, I haven't regained my old power. I am just really good at knowing what's on people's minds." I closed my eyes. "Feel better." Then I turned and left the room.

As soon as I stepped out of the room, Gabriel bounded down the hall and pulled me into a hug. "Good morning," he said cheerfully.

"You are in an awfully good mood today."

He grinned at me. "Oh, Jacob's thoughts," I muttered outloud. He nodded his head. "Well, thanks for your consideration."

"Anytime," he said. then he turned and jumped over the rail. I cringed; I hated when he did that. Even though, I knew that he wouldn't destroy anything, I still was nervous.

I heard the sound of the shower going. I sighed. What bothered Jacob about his dream?

Silently, I slipped outside. The backyard, of course, the sun was out today. I sat on the stoop watching the leaves fall gracefully to the grass floor. Fall was definately my favorite season. Everything had a glow about it. The temperature steadily dropped. Everyone wore light coats and had bonfires.

When I drew up my knees to my chest, I noticed Bethany leading Anthony playfully out of the guesthouse. They breezed past me, pretending I wasn't there. I was lucky that they still knew me well enough to know when I wanted to be alone.

It was about half an hour that I sat out there alone. The sun danced on my skin, leading to the inevitable shine of it. Jacob came out with a coat on. He sat down next to me. "Where are you going?" I asked watching the blades of grass flutter in the breeze.

"The park."

I furrowed my brow. That meant only one thing. He was unhappy. "Why? Jake, was it something I did?" I turned to him, staring into his brown eyes. They had a hint of sadness in them. "What's going on?" I asked.

"It's nothing you should worry about..."

"Yes it is." Jacob stood to leave. I followed his motion. "No, not until I get an explaination." He pulled me into a tight kiss. Which while making feel incredibly happy, also made me extremely nervous. His kiss was very passionate. "Jacob..." I whispered when he pulled away.

"Don't worry," he commanded. "I just need to check something out. I'll be fine."

"Then what was that all about?" I nearly shrieked referring to the kiss.

He blinked a couple times. "Just in case."

"In case what?"

"Don't worry," he repeated. "I'll be safe. Ok?"

I shook my head. Jacob sighed heavily. "Please just don't follow. Don't make me have the others retrain you." I sighed in defeat. He nodded his head. "Ok, good. I love you, Jera."

He started walking away. "I love you too," I whispered. Jacob turned back and smiled at me. When he was gone, I sat down. What was going on? Why couldn't I come? Was this about that damn dream? God, I wish I was still aa mindreader...Gabriel.

I darted into the house and found the angelic looking boy teasing our poor dog, Rocket. "What is going on with Jacob?" I demanded.

Gabriel didn't bother to look up at me. "I'm not allowed to tell," he said as he ripped the toy out of Rocket's mouth.

"Dammit, tell me."

"No." I sneered as I suspended him in the air. "Let go of me," he half whined. Glowering at him, I lowered Gabriel.

"I'm going to ask Alice."

"Alice doesn't... Oh, that makes sense." I rolled my eyes. Of course, if anything was going to happen, Alice would see it. The problem is, would she tell me.

When I called her, it took her only half a ring to pick up. "Not, going to tell you," she said bluntly.

"But-"

"No."

"Why not?" I cried frustrated.

"It's better you don't know," she responded normally.

"Alice, what the hell is going to happen?" I spat out through gritted teeth.

The doorbell rang. "I'll be right there," I said to her. Sure enough, when I opened the door, Alice, Edward, and Bella were all standing there. "Tell me," I demanded. They all shook their heads.

"Jera, just don't start," Edward said. I frowned and slammed the door in their faces, but of course they were too quick.

Bella took my shoulder, "Let's get your mind off of this." Mentally I shoved her hand off of me.

Alice looked at me right in the eye. Her topaz eyes shone with frustration. "Jer, do you think that anything horrible was going to happen to Jake, I wouldn't let you know?" I shook my head meekly.

"But why do they get to know?"

"They don't..."

"We don't," Edward repeated. I shot a death glare at him. How dare he try to calm me down when he didn't even know what was happening.

"So," Alice changed the subject. "How was your surprise?" Wow, I had totally forgotten about Bethany and Anthony. Not that they weren't important, but you know, there was more pressing issues going on. Alice's trick had worked. I scowled as I led them into the living room to meet my original "family."


	4. Thoughts

**AN: Jera, Jake, and Gabe don't live with the Cullen's anymore. I don't know if I was clear enough with that.**

"Anthony, Bethany," I said lightly as I came into the room to find them making out on the couch. "We have company." In a flash the two were sitting up straight smiling at us.

"Hi!" Bethany exclaimed as she stood. "I'm, obviously Bethany." She looked at the three. Edward had his arm wrapped around Bella. Bethany turned to them first. "So, you must be Edward." She rolled her eyes. "And your Bella."

I hoped that Bella didn't take that the wrong way. Bethany sometimes wasn't specific in what she meant. And her rolling the eyes can be taken two ways. Bella genuinely smiled. I sighed. Then Bethany turned to Alice. "That makes you Alice."

Alice smiled. "Yes it does. I see Jera has told you about us."

She opened her mouth, but Anthony was suddenly there covering her mouth. "Yeah, you're the foreseer right?"

"Hmhm."

"Great, I'm Anthony." He held out his hand and Alice shook it. Then, Anthony turned and shook Bella's and Edward's hands. Alice giggled. I snapped her mouth shut. So what if he was still a little formal?

We all sat down and they started chatting avidly about powers and how Bethany and Anthony had been able to find jobs here already. I quickly zoned them out. What was going on with Jacob? How come I never get to know anything? Seriously, I never get to know anything. It's so not fair. Ok, I'm getting off topic.

I was really nervous. Jacob had acted so bizarre. And what had disturbed him so much? Like, what in the dream? Why would his dream matter anyway? Not to sound rude or anything. But then again...he had dreamed about me before he knew I even existed. Maybe it was just an instinct, to believe that his dream was real. Which, makes sense.

But nothing else does. Why couldn't I come? How come he has to become a wolf? Maybe he's not going to the park for that. What if he's meeting someone there? Oh my God is Jacob having an affair? No, no be reasonable. Jacob's not having an affair.

What if he is?

He's not. Dammit, stop that. Jacob is not having an affair. Why would he? I mean there's no point in it. Wolves are supposed to hate vampires, but he lives with two. Now four. But he invited Anthony and Bethany to come. Didn't he?

Oh my God, maybe it was just to keep my mind off of him when he left. Oh please, Jacob don't leave me. Don't do what Edward did... But Edward left Bella out of love. What if Jacob's not leaving me because he loves me?

Stop, who said he was leaving me.

I did.

That doesn't mean anything. Just because I said...think it doesn't mean that it's true. I'm a mind reader though... Not anymore.

God! Why can't I agree with myself? Jacob's not leaving me and he's not having an affair. But I even said, I'm not a mind reader anymore, so how do I know?

Alice! Alice would have told me if he left me. I mean that's horrible, right? Of course, so shut up, Jera. Why do I have to shut up it's _my_ thoughts?

Dear Lord, I'm arguing with myself. That's a sure fire sign that I'm going insane. Isn't it?

"Jera!" Bella shrieked. I snapped out of my daze and looked up at her. "Are you ok?" I nodded my head, lying. "You sure? We haven't gotten to you for like ten minutes."

Ten minutes? Wow I guess time flies when you are going insane. "Oh...sorry."

"Stop thinking about him, Jer," Edward said quietly. I opened my mouth to protest. "You're mind block went down..." he explained.

"You're kidding?" This was embarrassing. "How much did you hear?"

He leaned over and whispered into my ear so the others wouldn't hear. "When you started worrying about Jake leaving you. And you aren't going crazy. I do that too." I nodded even though I wasn't quite sure how much that meant he heard. Edward sighed in frustration.

"Oops," I would have blushed. "Sorry." Frantically, I put my mind block back in place. I looked up at the others, they were all watching me. "I'm fine..."

"Are you sure, Jera?" Anthony asked. I nodded my head, not trusting myself to talk. When the others had reluctantly gone back to talking, I snuck a look at Edward. We locked eyes. I could tell he hadn't told anyone, about what I was thinking. I smiled in appretication.

Thank God the two of us were friends now.

Who knew what life would be like now if we weren't? The front door slammed shut. I sniffed the air. Jacob. Quickly I sprung up and rushed over to him. He was standing with his back pressed to the back of the door, panting heavily.

I hugged him tightly. Then looked at him worriedly. "Jacob what happened?" He looked at me. His eyes were full of worry and anguish. Jacob shook his head. "Dammit!" I screamed. "Why can't you tell me? I have been here worrying about you. Then, you come home, worried and out of breath and you won't answer one question!"

Jacob looked at me. "Sorry," he whispered his voice huskier than usual. "But I-I just can't..."

"Bullshit," I hissed. Then I doubled over dryly sobbing. By this time, I was well aware that Bella, Alice, and Edward were watching. Bethany and Anthony probably weren't because of Jacob being a werewolf.

Quietly, Jacob picked me up and held me tightly. At first, I was ready to give into his heat. But I realized that I shouldn't, not until he told me everything. I forced us apart and walked away blindly. I ended up on the sofa in the basement. Contently I sat there sobbing.

Soon enough though, Jacob came down. He sat beside me. Then took my head and put it on his lap. Jacob silently stroked my hair. I didn't shoo him away for some reason.

After a while, I decided to try again, "Jake, please tell me."

He basically froze. "I will...not now though, later."

"When's later?"

"Soon, I promise."

"How long is soon? Because when your immortal 'soon' can be years."

"Maybe a day..."

"Then why don't you just tell me now?"

"Because now isn't the right time."

"Then why will now be the right time 'soon?'" I asked, obviously stumping him. I laughed nervously.

"I love you, Jera," he said.

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

I didn't answer.

**La, la, la! You still don't know what's bothering Jake! Hahahaha!**


	5. Unexpected

Eventually I let Jacob go do homework. It was obvious that both of us were uncomfortable. I went up stairs and into the kitchen where Bella and Edward were sitting, just staring into each others eyes. A part of me was screaming, "Just leave! You do not need to see them happy right now!" Naturally, I agreed with that part of me and I turned to leave.

"Jera, sit down," Edward commanded. Oh no. Had my mind block gone down again? I stopped and waited for him to say 'yes,' but he never did. So I turned and sat on a chair at the kitchen table which was only used by Jacob.

"Yes?" I asked.

Bella turned to me. "Don't worry about Jake, ok?"

"Why shouldn't I?" My eyes stung with tears that would never fall. Jacob doesn't even trust me enough to tell me what's going on... Of course I should worry.

"Because, everyone has hard spots in their relationship, even me and Edward."

"I know," I said coldly.

"Well, I don't think you do," Edward interceded. "Every second I was with Bells when she was human, she was in danger. Even more than another vampire, because I really, really, really wanted her blood. Then there was..." he trailed off, but I knew what he was referring to. "It's just hard."

"Even harder when you're technically two different 'species,'" Bella said.

I sighed, "Wow, that helps a bunch." (Sarcasm.)

"No, Jer," Edward started. "We are just trying to say that fights are going to happen, but it'll be fine. You and Jake love each other."

"I know..." I gave into defeat. Then I looked at the time, 5:40 P.M. Then out the window, the sun was setting. Where did the day go? "Bella, we're supposed to be having a sleepover."

She grinned. "I hoped you hadn't forgotten."

"Did Alice leave?"

"No, I'm right here," Alice sang as she pranced into the room with Bethany.

Bella turned to Edward, "Are you leaving?"

"Let him stay with Anthony," Bethany said.

"Come on and join us Edward. We're going to the guest house to play board games," Gabriel said from the other room. Edward nodded and kissed Bella on the cheek before exiting the room.

For a while, we all just kind of stood there. "Uh, what _are_ we going to do?" I asked. Alice and Bethany exchanged glances. "You told her," I accused Alice. She smiled meekly, that was a 'yes.' I glared at them...their hand were behind their backs. "What are you hiding."

"Nothing," they said too quickly. I looked at Bella, she shrugged. Quickly, I snatched the objects behind their backs. Soon they were lying in my hands, two bottles, air freshener, scent: "Fresh Linen."

I looked at them. "Care to explain?"

"No," Alice said defiantely. My eyes flashed, they had no idea how pissed I was. "Jera, it's for our safety..."

"Well what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I said, my teeth gritted. The doorbell rang, Bethany and Alice quickly sprayed the kitchen with the air freshener. I almost choked on the fumes.

"Jera, please, please, please be quiet," Alice begged me. "Bella, we need to be invisible, now." Bella turned us all invisible and Alice led us foyer.

Jacob came down the stairs, he smiled sadly in our direction. How did he always know where we were when Bella was invisible? And what did that smile mean? Why were we invisible? How come they had cans of air freshener? Once again...I never got to know anything. Jacob opened the door.

On the other side of the door was a girl. She was tall, taller than I. Her eyes were a dark brown and her hair was short and blonde. She had fair skin and smelt bad, really bad. Oh my God, she's a werewolf. But werewolves are Native Americans... No, she wasn't a natural wolf.

_"No, I'm not. You know about everything between me and Bella right?" I nodded my head. "When she left me after Alice came back...I-I killed a man." He started shaking more. "And I bit one, she became a werewolf. But Sam banished her and I don't know what's become of her now." I looked up at him. A hot tear hit my face. Jacob was crying._

She was the girl Jacob bit. It had to be.

Was this what had been disturbing him? He had smiled at us in a sad manner. Jacob knew that she was in town. It makes sense. Why we are hidden, why they used the air freshener. What about the guys though? Stop worrying they're in the guest house.

The blonde girl flung herself on Jacob. "Oh my gosh! I found you! I've been looking from house to house for hours now!"

"You went door to door?" Jacob asked obviously surprised. She nodded her head eagerly and kissed Jacob_. What_! That annoying blonde just fucking kissed _my_ Jacob. All of the girl vampires glared at me to make sure I wouldn't say anything.

Thank God that Jacob pulled away, because I was about to rip that girls head off. The blonde crinkled her nose in distaste. "What's wrong, Jakey? You're different..."

I saw Jacob stiffen at the 'Jakey.' I agreed. Jakey? "Rollin," he growled.

Rollin. I instantly hated that name. The girl was imeadiately on my hit list. And I hate every bit of her being.

"Jakey, what's wrong?" she cooed while stroking his arm. I cringed "I've missed you so much. I'm so happy that you got yourself banished so we can be together." Bitch, he got himself banished for me, not you. Go die in a ditch. Wait, were man-made (for lack of better word) werewolves immortal as well?

"Rollin, you can't just show up here..."

"Why not?" she screeched. "It's been years. Don't tell me that you don't miss me." Too bad! He doesn't! So go away. She didn't though...

**Yeah I felt like making this two chapters. ) sorry.**


	6. Of Full Moons

"No, Rollin," Jacob said firmly. "You have to leave."

"Excuse me?" I tremor shot down her spine. Temper, she definately has the temper. "Jacob tonight there is a damn full moon." She shook some more.

"Rollin, stop," this time it was more of a plea.

Another large tremor shot done her spine. "Stop? God dammit, Jacob! You are the fucking reason I'm like this. You and that damned Bella!" I saw Bella cringe. Yet another tremor flashed through her body.

Oh no, not in the house. It's not even my house. She is not going to get away with kissing _my _Jacob _and _destroying this house. Rollin wasn't even going to get away with the first one. I don't care if I have to do this. Instantly I froze her. Jacob saw this and spun around. "Jera, what was that for?"

"Jera?!" Rollin screeched. "Who the hell is Jera? What's going on!?" I bit my lip and nodded to Bella. From the look on Rollin's face, I knew that I was no longer invisible.

"What was that for?" Jacob repeated.

"Well she couldn't do that in the house..." I felt very stupid saying this.

Jacob laughed lightly despite the situation. Rollin's glare was horrible. "You are a fucking bloodsucker! Jacob, what the hell is going on?" I snapped her mouth shut.

"She is so annoying," I remarked. "Jake, was this what was bothering you today?" He nodded his head. I sighed. "What are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know...you ok?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

He cocked his head to the frozen Rollin. "Oh, well I hate her. That reminds me...Why the hell did she kiss you?" Jacob didn't say anything. "Jake..." I prompted.

"We were...er...romantic...until she got out of control and was banished..." I let go of her mouth, big mistake.

"I'm in control now!" she screeched.

I looked at her. "You could have fooled me."

"Stay out of this, bloodsucker."

"Excuse me? Who's the one Jacob is with? Oh and bitch, it's not Jakey; it's Jacob or Jake, never Jakey."

There was a quiet snicker. "Cat fight," it was Bella.

"Too bad that one of them is a wolf..." Alice snorted.

Rollin's eyes darted around. "Who said that?"

Jacob laughed. "Hey, Bells, you are a genius."

"Whoops."

"Yeah, whoops," he sighed. "No point in hiding." Bella, Alice, and Bethany all reappeared.

"Bells? As in _the_ Bella. The reason why I'm like this!? Incredible Jakey, what the fuck is wrong with you? You are living with four vampires?"

"Well yeah four, but not those four..." Jacob started.

"What on earth do you mean?" Rollin shrieked. "There's more?"

"Yes..." he said.

Bethany looked out the window. "Uh, guys, the sun is almost set." Jacob's and Rollin's eyes widened. "Should we move her outside?"

"The backyard," Alice decided. "Bella, make her invisible." Bella did as she was told and we all followed Bella and I out to the back.

I locked Rollin in place with my mind. "Do you mind if I talk to Jacob in private?" I asked them. All three of the shook their heads.

"I'll tell the guys what is going on," Bethany said, making her way to the guest house.

Taking Jacob by the hand, I led him to our room in the house. I sat on the bed. He stood against the wall. We stared at each other for a long while. "How could you not tell me?" I barely whispered.

"Which part?" Jacob asked.

"Well...everything I guess. You know, Jake, I have no idea why you didn't tell me about Rollin before." He opened his mouth. "Fine, you told me one little part, three years ago when Bella was being changed. Not only that, but you have me worried sick the whole damn day and then this blonde girl shows up on our doorstep? How do you think I feel?"

He was quiet for a bit. "Jera...Rollin's dangerous. She really is. I was just trying to protect you." This time I opened my mouth. "No, Jer, a werewolf killing a single vampire is so incredibly easy. Especially since she's not a natural wolf. Right now, she's really lethal, because the full moon's about to come out...she won't be able to control herself. Not one little bit. Jera, she's killed more than a dozen people in one night. Please stay out of her way..."

I couldn't say anything. What was I supposed to say? "But Jake, this morning when you went to the park. What would have happened if she heard you're thoughts?"

"She can't. We're not even in a pack. Packs can hear only each others thoughts."

"What if Rollin smelled you?"

He chuckled lightly. "She was never good at tracking. Most likely, if she did smell me, she would have thought it was from a while ago."

"Did you like her kissing you?"

Jacob was quiet for a while. "No," he said at last.

"That's not too convincing," I said this with an even tone, but I was really nervous. The back of my eyes pricked with tears that would never fall.

"Jera," Jacob approached the bed. "I love you. So much more than I ever did Rollin..." He sat behind me and cuddled me quietly. "Please believe me."

"I'll try," I said quietly. He froze and shook a little.

"Please..." I didn't say anything. I couldn't bring myself to do so. He held me tightly. So much that I could feel his emotions: anguish, fear, sadness.

"I love you, Jacob." It was the only thing I could say. I wasn't sure if I believed him, but I did truly love him with every fiber of my being. He seemed to not see past my words. I was always able to fool him when I needed to.

Jacob kissed my neck and I snuggled close to him. We shared a quiet moment with our lips locked. Then, pain shot through my body. I fell of the bed and let out a small scream. Instantly, Jacob was at my side. "What's wrong, Jer?" I gasped, unable to speak, the anguish too intense. I looked up at the window, the moon was out.

**Lalala...What will happen? I know. You don't. XP The perks of being the author.**


	7. Missed Calls

I shook horribly. The light of the moon seemed to increase the pain. What was going on? I saw Jacob and tried smiling at him so he wouldn't worry. Of course that didn't work, nobody just falls into a fit of pain, especially not vampires.

Suddenly it felt like a million hot needles were pushing their way up on every inch of my body. I shrieked in pain. Looking down at my body, I was surprised to see my skin as even as ever. It became hot, really hot. Everything was hot. It felt like touching Jacob for the first time all over again. "Help," I managed to gasp.

Jacob put his hand on my forehead. It was cool under my skin. His skin, cool? What was going on? "Jera...are you ok? Sorry, that's a dumb question..." I screamed, it felt as if every bone in my bone was breaking and readjusting itself. Shaking, I held my hand out in front of me, it was the same as always. "Jera?"

"Jake," I whispered. "What's happening?" I closed my eyes. Without protest, I let the darkness take me.

----

I woke up. It was still dark out. Jacob was hovering over me breathing heavily. "What happened?" I asked, my voice a tad shakey.

"I don't know..." he said fearfully. "Do you feel ok?" I nodded my head. Jacob quickly enveloped me into a hug. He was no longer cooler than me. "Can you describe to me what happened?" he asked quietly.

It took me a while to find the right words to describe what had happened, but eventually it all came out. "I think," he said. "I have a theory."

"That would be?"

"You felt the pain from Rollin's change, because you were mentally holding onto her... Oh no, Bella," he whispered. My eyes widened. Had I let go of Rollin? I checked the back of my mind. The feeling of holding onto her was gone.

"N-n-no..." I stammered while getting up. Quickly, I started down the stairs. Jacob grabbed me. "Let go!"

"No, she might be out there still."

"But Jacob...Alice, Bella, Gabe, Beth, Anthony, they're all out there!"

"Please wait for morning." I shook my head. "Jera, please. They will be fine, the guys and Bethany are in the guest house and Bella can easily hide herself and Alice from Rollin."

"Are you sure?" I asked, slumping a little; I felt weak.

He nodded, "I'll prove it to you." Jacob took me back into our room and opened a window. "Alice, Bella, come up here," he said quietly. In a matter of seconds, both of them were standing in front of me. I rushed over and hugged them tightly, relieved.

"Jer, what happened?" Alice asked. I shook my head and fell on the bed. Jacob explained to them his theory. I curled up in a ball, feeling sick. Jacob sat next to me and stroked my hair. "The others are fine," Alice said.

"Ok," I said meekly. It was frightening, what if someone was killed by Rollin? Once again, it would be my fault. Almost everything was always my fault.

Everyone tried to get my thoughts off of the night, but it wouldn't work. Eventually we moved out of the room so Jacob could sleep. I felt so exhausted, but there was no way for me to sleep it off. I sighed. "And this place was less chaotic than Forks."

Alice giggled. "This is just one thing, Jer."

"I know, but in Omaha, nothing happened, at all."

"That would be my doing," Bella said. "Trouble always follows me... Even Edward says so."

Manically, Alice grinned, "Let's sacrifice, Bells."

"After you," she replied.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing..."

"My point exactly." I shook my head and took out my cell phone. Apparently, I had three new messages. Quickly I dialed my voice mail and accessed my messages.

The first one was from Scarlet, "Hey, Jer. I'm just calling to find out what your surprise was. I hope it was good like Alice said it would be. And also to let you know that there's supposedly going to be a new girl on Monday. I don't know, I heard it from David." David was her boyfriend. "Well anyway, call me when you get this. But if you get this really late or early don't call. Love," the message clicked to the recorded voice. I giggled lightly, several times, I had called Scarlet past midnight, she always woke up and started yelling at me.

"Jera," it was Anthony. "All of us watched what happened outside from the window. How are all you guys? Please call us, we're worried..." Edward's voice was heard in the background. "Yes, I know. Call when you get this message..." I quickly tapped the reply button.

Anthony picked up the first ring. "Good, you're ok..."

"I'll explain later," I said, knowing what was coming next.

"Sure."

Someone ripped the phone away from Anthony. "Jer?" It was Edward.

"Yeah, hold on." I passed the phone to Bella. She talked to him for a couple minutes. Of course, Edward was acting overprotective so Bella ran short on patience quickly. When she handed the phone back to me, I went back to my voicemail.

"Hello, Jera," I'd never heard this voice before. "Sorry for calling late-ish..." It was a girl, her voice a bit tensed with nerves. "But, I start at your school tomorrow. I guess you're supposed to show me around... Sorry this is so last minute. I totally forgot, and I don't even know if you knew this. Oh my God, sorry I forgot to tell you my name," she laughed shakily. "I'm Susan. Please don't call me that though...or Susy. Sue's fine.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Kitly recommended you as a source...I hope you don't mind. Uh...my locker number is 552. So...I'll be there...yeah. Thanks for you're help..." Sue hung up. I shook my head. Her voice and nervousness was going to bug me all day tomorrow.

Tomorrow...Monday. I'd forgotten to go to church. I sighed and slid to the floor my back against the wall. "Sorry, I didn't tell you..." Alice said. "She's not ugly or anything...just very human."

"That's because she _is _human," I muttered.

Bella looked at us. "Care to explain?"

I looked up at her and groaned. "I have to show around this new girl tomorrow. She sounds so incredibly annoying... Her name is Sue."

**Ut oh new character.**


	8. Pictures

**I'm so sorry. I know that I haven't updated in a long time. Well at least, for me. No I'm not quitting writing or anything. Just been really busy midterms and junk. I've also been really preoccupied with Halloween stuff. Bleh. I love Halloween don't get me wrong just it gets me off track from everything.**

I gathered up my stuff and woke up with Jacob. That night I hadn't laid down in bed beside him. My mind was too busy racing about everything. I was extremely pissed at Mrs. Kitly for recommending me as a "source" to that Sue girl. Now I would be followed around by an annoying human for the rest of the day and the year.

Alice and Bella had left earlier, as soon as the moon went away. I spent that time by myself pacing back and forth. It felt so stupid, but right at the same time.

"Wake up, sleepy," I said gently as I shook Jacob awake.

He rolled over and opened his eyes. "Hey," he said. "Time for school?"

"Not yet...obviously." Jacob laughed. However, I didn't. I was still in a rather bad mood. A dangerous werewolf was running around. No doubt she wanted to kill all of us. Would she be able to? I shook my head at myself. Don't worry about that. That's a hard thing to do for me.

Jacob looked at me. "Sorry," I said. "Just thinking."

"About?"

"Nothing..."

"Sure, Jera...I know you better than that-"

"Well I can usually throw you off," I muttered.

"What?" Jacob asked obviously shocked by what I had said.

I looked at him. "Sorry, nothing."

Jacob grabbed my arm when I tried to turn and leave. "No, that's not going to work. What do you mean?"

His grip was harder than usual. I turned back to face him. Jacob's face didn't betray his emotions. He was clearly nervous about what I had said. "Like...sometimes...I just kind of have to lie...to keep you happy... Nothing bad, I promise." I bent down and kissed him on the cheek. Then I swiftly left the room before he could say anymore.

A few seconds later I heard the shower running. I walked down the stairs and turned on the TV, despite my lack of intrest in it. Then it hit me, Monday. I'd forgotten to go to church. "Oh well," I muttered to myself quietly. Until it was time to go, I watched the news.

Soon Jacob came downstairs. "Did Gabe leave yet?" he asked, his voice had a little edge to it. I nodded my head, biting my lip. "Hmm..."

"Don't be mad at me, ok?"

"What made you think I was mad at you?" I seethed. Jacob knew perfectly what I meant. Suddenly, he was sitting behind me, his arms wrapped around me.

"I'm not mad..." he insisted. "Does it look like I'm mad?"

"You never know," I said harshly, not taking my eyes off of the screen.

Jacob was silent for a moment. "I'm a wolf, of course you would know." I didn't reply. "Let's go."

I stood up immeadiately, mentally throwing his arms off of me. In a few seconds, I was saying goodbye to Anthony and Bethany. I tried my best to be brief. Luckily, they got the hint and didn't hold me up. I drove to school in my Porsche. It was getting old now, but I didn't feel like buying a new one. Partly becuase Anthony wasn't there to lend me some money for it. But now that they were here...

My thoughts were interuptted by, just the shher fact I was at school. As I looked at the sky, I pulled on a pair of red sunglasses that matched my outfit. It was still cloudly, thank God. I always wore sunglasses into school anyway.

In the next second Alice was standing by my door. "Not now, Alice," I groaned.

"Not now, what?" she asked.

"I'm in a bad mood."

"Obviously."

"Where's Bella and Edward?"

"Somewhere."

"Why don't you go find them?"

"Because, I know where they are."

"Then get a move on."

"Who said I wanted to be with them anyway? They might be kind of 'busy.' "

"Alice..."

"Oh please, like I don't know that you and Jacob fought."

"I wish you didn't have visions," I remarked as I got out of my car.

"Too bad." I stuck my tongue out of her, then grabbed my book bag. She giggled at my gesture. Then I heard a the familar sound of Jacob's old car.

"Shit..." I murmered.

"Language," Alice teased. I growled at her and then rushed into the school.

What was that girls locker number again? 552, right. First, I put away my stuff and got out the materials for first period. And then I went and stood at her locker. She was so...well...she wasn't there. All I wanted was to get this day over with.

At last she came. At least she wasn't too nerdy. That would have been hell. Sue wore her ebony hair up in a messy bun. Her green eyes were outlined with black eyeliner, which contrasted nicely wit her slightly tanned skin. She smiled at me. I sensed her nervousness.

"Hi," I said.

She smiled at me as she began fiddling with her lock. "You must be Jera."

"Yeah."

"I'm Sue."

"I know." I wanted to kill her. No duh. No one else at the school has ever heard of you, but me. Stupidity! Whoa, calm down. No need for that, I'm just mad at Jake.

Sue took out some pictures from her book bag. Carefully, she began putting them on her locker with magnets. There were pictures of her with some other girls and guys. No doubt her friends from her old school. Then Sue clipped an older looking one onto the locker. She wasn't in it. There were two girls. They were smiling and wearing 70's fashion clothing. Quietly, I gasped. I recongnized both of these girls.

One of them was me.


	9. From the Past

**In words, it's a short chapter. But it has a lot of conversation. So anyway HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!**

I started panicing. What if she recognized me? I looked at my eyes in the old photo. Luckily, the color was faded. But it was probably taken a few months before my change.

Why did Sue have a picture of me anyway? Who was the other girl in the picture?

Quickly, I pointed at the photo. Who are these people you aren't either of them. Ok, maybe that wasn't the best way to deal with that part. Sue looked at me funny. "Uh...well this one is my mom." She pointed to the girl sitting next to me. I could see the ressemblence. She had her mother's hair and eyes. "And this is her cousin, Jera..." Sue laughed dryly. "That's so ironic how you two have the same name."

I forced my own laugh and a smile. So she was what? My second cousin? "Yeah, but why do you have a picture of them in your locker?"

"Oh, well, Jera, a couple months after this... she disappeared. The night her parents died in a car crash. And, uh, my mom and she were really close, you know? So I've always felt bad that I never got to meet her... Sorry you think that's stupid."

"No, it's fine. I get it." I smiled. Sue had no idea how ironic the situation really was. Well at least she didn't see the ressemblence between -this is going to sound weird- myself.

Then a ping of guilt hit me. I had no recollection of Sue's mother, who I was supposedly close to. I studied the picture while she put away all of her things. It did look like I truely was friends with her mother.

"Hey, Jer," I whipped around and smiled.

"Scarlet."

"Hm?"

I rolled m eyes. "This is Sue; she's new."

She smiled and turned to Sue. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Scarlet." They exchanged smiles and then Sue turned back to working on organizing her things. I pointed out the photo quietly to Scarlet and mentally shut her mouth so she wouldn't say anything.

Scarlet turned to me. Her eyes were wide with surprise. I let go of her mouth. "Is that you?" she whispered. I nodded. "Who's the other girl?"

"Her mother," I mouthed, just in case I was too quiet for Scarlet to hear.

"Really?"

"She's my cousin..." I said quietly this time.

"Really?"

I growled. "You sound like a broken record."

"Sorry."

"I'll see you later, Scar." She opened her mouth in protest. But I pushed her away.

Sue was finally ready. "Ok, so where's our first class?" she asked.

I bit my lip, Jacob was in our first class. He was a lot smarter than I thought he was. That sounds so mean. "AP World History. It's pretty close. Room 217." She and I walked to our class and chose two seats next to each other on the right side of the room. I saw Jacob come into the room. Sue had been asking me about each person that came through the door, so I began dreading this moment.

"He is...cute," Sue said, referring to Jacob. I could tell he heard. He smiled at me and winked. I growled at him, which only caused him to laugh. "Who is he?"

"Jacob," I said a tad coldly.

"Oh, ex?"

"No...current...we're having a fight," I stopped. "Stop eavesdropping."

"I wasn't!" Jacob said from his seat.

"Then how did you answer me?"

"Fine...please Jer, I'm the one who should be mad-" I shut his mouth close.

Sue giggled. "Sorry."

"For?"

"Liking him."

"I don't mind..."

"Oh, got it."

I laughed. "I'm-I have nothing to say." She giggled. Maybe she wasn't too bad, just way too nervous. Humans. What did I expect?

But still I can't believe that I'm related to her. The bell then rang, and I would have to pay "attention" instead of thinking about the situation I was in. If fit was anything to be worried about. After all, Sue didn't quite make the connection, right?


	10. Confusion

**I'm so so so so so so so so sorry. I haven't updated. And FYI, I seriously agree with Jera, I think she might be going insane. You'll see what I mean.**

**Once again, I'm so sorry.**

Ok, maybe not. So class definately wasn't going to keep my mind off of all the stuff that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. Hadn't I said that Riverside was much calmer than Forks? Well apparently I jynxed myself.

Damn.

Well I should know better by now. If something's going to happen, it's going to happen to me. You know... "What's the teacher's name?" Sue asked. I growled silently and mentally smacked Jacob as he stifled a laugh.

"Mr. Shranton," I muttered a bit coldly.

"Thanks," she beamed, obviously noticing my bitter edge. "Mr. Shranton," Sue said as she rasied her hand.

Mr. Shranton turned around and pushed up his thin rimmed glasses. "Yes...er...Susan, right?"

"Sue," she corrected. I smiled a little to myself, she kind of sounded like Bella on our first day here.

"Right. So what do you want?" I looked up at Sue who had just stood up. She rose her hand again. Good thing that I couldn't blush. Supposedly I was related to her? How embarrassing.

"High five," she declared. Mr. Shanton looked at me like this was my fault. I shrugged. He high fived her then turned around back to the board. Was that the girl who sounded so nervous on the phone yesterday? This girl is so confusing.

Sue giggled to herself. "What was that all about?" I asked.

"I was bored."

"So...you stood up and high fived the teacher?"

"Yes."

"Are you feeling ill?"

She giggled and shook her head. "No, I told you. I was bored." I sighed and started doodling in my notebook. Maybe she was adopted...

Wait a second, why on earth do I care? That's my past life. My human life. Actually my only real "life." What? Whoa, am I missing the life I can barely remember? That's a stupid question of course I am. And I'm talk-fighting with myself again. I sighed, quietly again and bit on my lip.

My past life. I searched the far back corners of my memory, to find a human memory. Not that many were left. Even the small ones that still remained were sort of blurry and unclear, like a dream I couldn't fully remember. Dreams, sleep. Haven't slept in years... Been knocked out. But there was no dreams with that. I wonder what Jacob dreams about...

I'm in a fight with Jacob, remember? Yes... But still. It won't last right? What were we fighting about, again? Oh yeah, Rollin. That bitch...literally. She better not have hurt anybody. Oh my, what if she did?

I'd kill myself. As if that's possible. Why the hell do vampires have to be so hard to destroy?

Then again...I live in a town where two werewolves and eleven vampires, (not including myself) how hard can it be to get myself killed? Am I seriously thinking about killing myself? Edward was wrong, I think I am insane. I have to be insane. Is there any other possibility?

Well yes...but... The bell rang. I closed my eyes. Had the period already passed? No duh, Jera. After sitting at my desk for a few moments, I stood up. Jacob was at my side.

"Jer..."

"She better not have hurt anyone," I whispered to him.

"Who?"

"You know very well who."

"Oh...yeah..." He paused for a second and looked at Sue who had been staring at him. "So you forgive me?"

Should I forgive him? What did he really even do? I mean all that stuff had happened before he even knew I exsisted. I nodded my head. Maybe if I forgave him, one thing would go back to normal, and maybe I would be less insane.

Man, I'm a mess. I am confusing myself. I'll have to talk to Edward...maybe he can help me.

**Oh yeah, I also forgot to mention I think Sue's insane too. It must run in the family or something. **

**Yes, I know I'm the author and I should know this stuff, but you know what...you just have to get it...you don't ven know what you have to get. I'll stop talking. I think I've confused you more than Jera's confused me.**


	11. Distractions

**Ok, so I put some Spanish in here and didn't feel like putting accents. So if you can tell the difference, imagine them in your mind. :)**

As I walked out of the classroom, I threw down my mind block. _Edward!_ I screeched. _We need to talk! You are so wrong I am insane!_

"What makes you sa-" It was Edward, he had just spotted Sue. Thank God, otherwise we who have to make up a hell of a lot of lies. "Oh, sorry, I'm Edward. You are?" _Like he needed to ask that question._ Edward heard my thought and threw me a dirty look.

"Sue." _AKA my second cousin...I think. Well I know we're related, just I don't know what you would call us... You know what, Edward? Thoughts equal private. _Then I quickly put my mind block back up. I saw him smirk.

"Nice to meet you," he said. "So you're new, huh?" They carried on a conversation. Thank you, I do not need to be talking to that annoying, crazy person all day.

Suddenly there was a hot hand on my shoulder. I cringed and then recongized it as Jacob. "Sorry," I said quietly.

"It's my fault."

"No, not really."

"Where do you go now?"

"Like you haven't memorized my schedule."

"Very true. Jera, I really am sorry. I guess I should have..." I kissed him on the cheek.

"Let's not talk about that, ok? I'll see you fourth." Jacob nodded meekly and wandered off in the direction of his locker.

I sighed and rushed through the tedious task of collecting my things for my next class at human pace. Then I met Sue at her locker. Edward was still talking to her. I didn't really care that much. He had next period with me anyway. "Bella, Alice, where are you guys?" I half-heartedly murmered.

"Estamos aqui," (We're here) Alice said as she tapped me on the shoulder.

"No Espanol, por favor." (No Spanish, please.)

"But you know Spanish," Alice whined.

"Your point?"

"Fine," Alice sighed. "You know that you've been no fun since your surprise."

"Alice, come on, you can't be that dumb," Bella remarked. "We all know that a lot of stuff has happened since then."

"Well for Bella's information, because I think Miss Spanish over there already knows that Jacob and I made up."

Bella squealed. "Really? That's great!" Bella can be a real human sometimes. Is it annoying? Yes.

A locker door closed. I was 100 sure it was Sue's. Alice smiled at me an Bella and slipped away to her next class. "Better watch out, Bells, looks like you have competition," I teased in a quiet tone for vampires' ears only. She wacked me and giggled. I turned around, and sure enough, Edward and Sue were heading in our direction.

"I'm Bella, you must be Sue," Bella said with a smile.

"Yeah...so your Bella, huh? Is that short for Isabella?" I heard Bella growl lightly, Edward and I surpressed our laughter.

"By the way, Jer, Sue likes Jake not me," he murmered.

I smiled. "Like I didn't know that. But still it's fun to tease Bella." I saw Bella swiftly flipping me off. "I'm so offended," I said in mimicked distress.

"So," Edward turned to me and smiled. "You said you were crazy?"

"Pretty sure... I think Sue is too."

"Runs in the family?"

"Must, should be interesting to re-meet my cousin."

He frowned. "Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"What if she remembers?"

"Of course she'll remember me, but she last saw me when she was sixteen...or seventeen...maybe older?"

"Your eyes haven't changed?"

"Well no..."

"And your name hasn't changed?"

"My last name..."

"But not your first?"

"No."

"Then's there's always the possibility." I opened my mouth to protest more, but of course Edward had to have the last word. "So, now why are you insane?"

I looked away for a spilt second. "Well..."

Edward smiled again. "That can't be a good start."

"Yeah," I agreed. "It can't."

"So..."

"I don't know how to say it exactly. But like I am, or was, angry at Jacob for a reason that doesn't even make sense. I was thinking about suicide. Yeah...suicide. And all this other stuff..."

"You are kind of like me, Jera."

"Is that a compliment?"

"I'm not quite sure..."

"Thanks for that insight." I walked over to my usual desk. Were we already in our classroom? I loose track of everything now-a-days.

He put his books on his desk which was next to mine. "Bells obviously sees that as a good thing. But what I mean is that we both are put into hard situations, and have way to much time on our hands." I smiled.

"So does the rest of the family..."

"But they have other distractions."

"So do you."

"You too."

"Not as a good one though..."

"Try using your 'distraction' during this class, ok?"

"I highly see how that will help." The bell rang, and I sat on my chair.

"You'll be surprised." I rolled my eyes.

A few minutes into class, after, the constant breathing on my neck from Sue and stares from Edward, I decided to use my "distraction" instead of retreating to my mind. But where would I find something to play with that no one would notice? I scanned the desks around me quickly. Bella, who sat in front of Edward, had a peice of candy in her pencil case. Why? Well I have no idea, it's not like she's going to eat it. I looked at it. It was a pink Starburst. I have no clue what that tasted like, nor did that matter. Scarlet had often said that if you could unwrap a Starburst in your mouth, you were considered a good kisser.

I wonder if it counts if you do it with your mind.

Bella, never being one for detail didn't notice my work until after she spotted a folded up wrapper dancing on her desk. Quickly she snatched it. She held it tight, if I wanted to get it out of her grasp, I'd have to tear it. So instead, I started playing with her brown hair, which she stil washed with thatt silly shampoo. "All for Edward," Alice had explained to me when we were still in Forks.

Speaking of, what was in that box that Jasper gave Jacob... No, stay out of your own head, Jera. I giggled silently, that sounded funny.

Right, my "distraction." I played with various objects in the class. Damn, Edward was right, on both things. Damn.


	12. Blood

**Tiny allusion in here. I love making allusions. Like I said though, this one is small and very ambiguous, for lack of better word, and if you can figure it out. I will award you with 6000000000000000000 COOKIES. No kidding**

At lunch, I admitted defeat to Edward. "Why do you have to be so negative about it?"

"About?"

"Being like me," he smiled.

I glowered. "I don't like it when others are right."

"I can tell." I rolled my eyes and got in line with a tray in hand. "Negative. Negative. Negative."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"You have been hanging around with Gabe and Alice too much," I whined.

"So what if I have?" he mocked defiantly.

I slid my tray down the line angrily. "You're lucky that there's so many witnesses around, Edward Cullen, otherwise this tray whould be smashed over your head..."

"Negative."

"I'm going to have Bella ground you."

"Like she'll do that."

"So then I'll talk to Esme about it." Edward's topaz eyes widened. I rolled my eyes. "I can't tell if that's sarcasm or not."

He changed the subject, "Where's Sue?"

I looked around. "I have no idea, am I supposed to know?"

"Yes..."

"I think she said something about going to her locker." I paid for my food and got out of line. "You know, we would save a lot of money if we didn't waste it on food."

Edward laughed. "You're cheap."

"We would."

"I know, but it's not like we're going financially under." I shrugged and sat down next to Jacob, who was already biting into a burger. I hate it when he eats. I wrinkled my nose as he chewed. "Could you please not do that around me?" Although I was teasing, I was half serious.

"Not going to happen."

"I don't eat around you." Just then Scarlet and her friend April sat down. "We'll hold this conversation for later..." I didn't need that nosy April thinking that I was anorexic.

"You aren't going to win."

"And you aren't going to die if you don't eat." Scarlet, April, and Edward all laughed. I have no idea why April did though... If anything she should be worried... Enough thinking. Then the rest of the Cullen "kids", minus Bella and Alice joined us.

"How was it that we all ended up with the same lunch period?" Rosalie asked.

"I'm not sure..." Emmett started. Rosalie hit him on the side of the head.

"I wasn't looking for an exact answer."

"I knew that."

"Of course you did," she said sarcastically, while brushing a wisp of blonde hair from her face.

"Must you two fight constantly?" Jasper asked.

Edward looked up from his reverie. (Which probably wasn't really a reverie. He was more likely concentrationg on blocking out thoughts or something.) "Actually, I think it's impossible for them not to."

"Yeah, they might explode," Jacob remarked with a smirk.

"Shut up, wolf," Emmett said while toying with an apple.

"You're so creative with your comebacks," Rosalie teased. He sighed and pouted as he sat down, which only caused our table to erupt in laughter.

After a few moments of slience, save the random comments from April, (Why does Scarlet like her?) Alice interupted us from "eating," "Look who Bells and I found in the halls." I looked up Sue was in the process of sitting down at a seat across from me.

"I believe this belongs to you," Bella said. Sue giggled and missed her seat. And during her fall, she somehow managed to cut herself on the chair. I scent of human blood flooded my nostrils. Jasper promptly stood up and excused himself. Emmet followed him close at his heels. It was very silent. We were all exchangning looks. The slight rusty scent of Sue's blood made my mouth water.

April stood, "Uh, girl, are you ok?" She, Scarlet, and Alice hovered over Sue working on stopping her from bleeding. How could everyone else no be so tempted by blood?

But the blood continued to flow. Human blood. Not animal blood, but human blood. Much better than animal blood. It's smell kept tempting me. When was the last time I hunted? It took all my strength not to pounce on her and drink. It would be so easy too. I could just use my power to do it. It would be so simple, I wouldn't even have to get up.

"I'm hungry," I announced. Alice and Scarlet stopped working and looked at me. I could see that Scarlet was afraid. I felt horrible, my friend was afraid of me.

Alice glanced down at the two girls. "Scar, April...why don't you take Sue to the nurse's office?"

"Sure, no problem," Scarlet answered quickly. In a couple of minutes the smell of her fresh blood was gone.

Jacob was rubbing my arm. "Are you ok, Jera?" I nodded, then shook my head.

"I'm hungry... you saw Scarlet's face... and I was about to kill Sue..." I buried my face in my hands. Maybe suicide would work...

"It takes practice," Rosalie offered.

"She's right you know..." Edward started. I didn't say anything. I was too busy figuring out ways to kill myself. Somewhere in between that time, everyone was filled in on everything that happened in the past day, and I decided that I wouldn't kill myself. That would be the stupidest thing to do. Wouldn't it? Haven't I gone through this already?

The bell rang, I jerked my head up from my hands. "Jer, you should go home," Alice said. "It's not safe for you to be in school right now. You, me, Jasper can go hunting tomorrow ok?" I nodded my head and stood up. Jacob grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him.

"It's ok, Jera, no problem." I looked at his deep brown eyes. He was awfully close. I was awfully hungry. And he was so filled with blood. He wouldn't suspect a thing... No! my mind screamed. I shook my head and pushed Jacob away with force. I could see the hurt in his eyes, but he didn't understand.

"Sorry," I barely whispered. Then I quickly existed the room. Every passing body offered me a chance to have my fill. The scent of their blood, the sound of their hearts beating it increased every moment. I had to get home.


	13. Car Ride

**Ahem. Comments mean chapters. no comments mean no chapters. quite simple. **

Monster. The word echoed through my head as I sat in the school's office trying to look pale, which wasn't exactly hard to do. But I was a monster. We all were monsters. Why did I ever think it was a good idea to change Bella? I sighed, Edward was so right. We were alike.

Why did that surprise me?

I had wanted to kill Jacob. Monster. I wanted to kill Sue. Monster. I wanted to kill everyone. Monster. I wanted to kill myself. Maybe Edward was on to something when he went to Italy years ago. Damn. To think I hated him when we first met. Then again he didn't exactly welcome me with wide arms. But then again I was about to kill Bella. Monster.

"Jera, your mom is on her way to pick you up," the nurse said.

I looked up confused. My mom? "I can drive myself."

"Not in your state."

"Ok..." Oh yeah, Bethany and Anthony were here. It's so weird to have them around again. I was different the last time I lived with them. Or was I? I still wanted human blood. But was that really what mattered? I wasn't sure. Once again, I had all the questions and none of the answers.

The nurse tried to make conversation. "So, you know the new girl, Sue? She had a nasty fall during lunch." I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Yeah, I heard about that."

"I have no idea how she did it. Her friends said that she missed the chair and fell. She had a huge gash."

"Will she be ok?" I asked trying not to sound too interested.

I opened my eyes to see the nurse's response. She smiled, she had to be around her late fourties. Her brown hair that was pulled into a tight bun was streaked with gray. Weird to think that I was probably older than her. "Of course she will. I'm just surprised about her wound."

"I understand." How did Carlisle do it? He worked with blood all the time. Same with Bella, I think the only time I've seen her loose control was that first day. And with this one person here. One. I could barely contain myself.

The doorbell for the school rang. "That must be your mom," the nurse said as she stood. While the nurse was gone, I heard April and Scarlet leave the room that Sue must had been in. They were talking about the incident. I ducked down so I was out of sight and lightly tugged on Scarlet's sleeve so she knew that I was there. She turned around in my direction. Her face was distraught and definately a little scared. Was I really that threatening? I mean, I guess if you really knew what I was and I said that I was "hungry" and you were my food, you'd be scared too.

But she is one of my bestfriends.

The whole deal about being a vampire is very frustrating. Bella wanted this? She must be insane too. "Jera, let's go," Bethany said. I forced a smile. "Anthony can pick up your car later, when he gets back from work.

"Feel better, dear," the nurse said as she patted me on the back. I saw her eyeing Bethany jealously and smiled inwardly.

Bethany stopped me before I stepped out of the door. "What?" I asked.

"It's a little sunny..."

"I'm careful."

"I know, Jer, just be wary."

"Why are you so nervous?"

" 'Cas I'm not just talking about the sun..."

I searched my mind. "Rollin?" She nodded. I narrowed my eyes, I had just forgotten about that damn girl. We both rushed to her brand new car. "This reminds me, I need a new car."

She smiled. "You're so needy."

"You got that right." Thank God for Bethany, she could always lift my spirits. "So, Anthony has a job here already?"

Bethany shrugged. "With a resume like his, it's easy to find a job."

"I can imagine."

The engine started up. "So why did you call in sick?" She backed out of her parking spot without looking around for other cars.

"The annoying new girl started bleeding."

She looked at me and raised an eyebrow as she sped down the road. "Down there?"

"Ugh, please, she cut herself during lunch. With all of us there..."

"Got it."

"Which reminds me," I said fiddling with the radio. "It turns out that annoying girl, Sue, is my second cousin." Bethany slammed on the brakes. It was actually because the light turned red, but it definately added to the mood.

"How do you know?" Her topaz eyes shone with concern.

I smiled and starting searching through her CD's, picking out Rent. "Don't worry I didn't tell her about us. But she just happened to have a picture of the human me in her locker." I pushed the CD in and pressed play, skipping over the first song. I did not need to be reminded of love, death, and time.

"So you being manipulative, got the story out of her," Bethany said comprehending.

"Yes."

"So what did that wolf of yours do when you got hungry."

I furrowed my brow, "Why does it matter what Jacob did?"

"Just curious."

"I'm actually not that sure..." The car was silent except for the music.

_How do you leave the past behind _

_When it keeps finding ways to get to your heart?_

_It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out _

_'Til you're torn apart._

_Rent!_

I quickly skipped over to "One Song Glory." (This was the movie soundtrack, not the orignal.) I didn't need to be reminded of the past ever. The past was reminding myself of its existence, by throwing itself at my door step every five minutes.

"Why do you have Rent in your CD's? I thought you hated musicals let alone operas." Bethany smiled sheepishly.

"Well, I asked Gabe for a list of your CD's when I was packing, so I'd have some," she said. "Besides, it's not that bad. It's very rock-sih unlike that Music Man crap."

"I like that 'crap!' " I grinned hitting her.

We pulled into the driveway. Bethany shook her head. "You are insane."

"I agree with you." She giggled, but I wasn't joking. I didn't need to tell Bethany that though, it just worry her.

**COMMENT OR PERISH. or not get more chapters. either or**


	14. New Car

**Thank you for the comments. Lol. I've been doing a really good thing. I'm anotating Twilight...but its my friends. Hehe. Well anyway remember to comment. :)**

I walked into the door to be greeted by our friendly dog. But I _really_ didn't want to hurt him. Even though his animal blood wasn't as attractive as human blood, I probably would have attacked him if I stayed too long. Instead, I walked upstairs to the extra living room where Rocket wasn't allowed. I sifted through our DVD's. What could possibly be entertaining right now? Luckily for me, I was more into movies than other vampires were. I came across The Nightmare Before Christmas. That was always a good choice. I popped in the movie and sat back in the big red couch.

Shortly after "This is Halloween," Bethany joined me on the couch. She looked at me, "A musical?"

"Yes," I sighed. "It has vampires in it, if that helps."

"Stereotypical vampires?"

"Very...and they aren't a main character or anything..."

I examined the movie for a few seconds. "But that skeleton is?" I nodded. She sat there quiet. "He's depressed?" I nodded again and smiled a little. "What's this movie called?" I shoved the DVD box in her face. "So it's all a dream?" She looked at me grinning. I rolled my eyes.

"No, and I'm pretty sure you've seen this movie before. It came out in '93 and I do remember Gabe seeing it."

"Anthony must have taken him."

"As you've demonstrated. Either that or you're trying to piss me off."

She faked being appalled. "Me?" Bethany glanced around the room. "Why, I never."

I rolled my eyes again. "If you are going to act like this, please leave. Because, right now it's annoying and I rather be sitting in a room full of humans eating."

"You do that anyway."

"But, it's disgusting and I much rather not."

"Like we're ones to be talking about disgusting."

"Quiet."

"Why?"

I growled at her and shoved her off the couch while I put the movie on pause. "You're no-" I shut her mouth and then resumed the movie. I sat there content for the rest of the movie. When it was finally over I released Bethany. "You know, you're pretty strong when you do that."

I flashed her a smile. "I know." I stood to get off the couch. "Anyway, I need a hunting trip...so I'm going to go plan it."

Bethany raised an eyebrow. "You're going alone."

"No," I sighed. "I suppose that Alice and Jasper are coming with me. They'll have fun in one tent and I'll do homework in the other, or something."

"So that wolf of your's isn't going?"

"No..."

"So Anthony and I will be stuck here with it?"

"Him," I corrected. "And Gabe will be here. I just can't have him coming. He still has blood you know." She nodded and followed me to my room.

"It reeks in here."

"Does not."

"Smells of wolf. It burns my nose"

"I wonder why. You know, Beth, you complain a lot more than I remember."

"Last time you live with me, you weren't in love with a wolf."

"It's not my fault." It truely wasn't. "I would have liked it much better if I ended up like Edward and fell in love with a human."

"Bella was human?" I looked at her. "Well, we all were human but... When they met?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Is that a problem?"

"No...just odd."

"Well I'm odd too."

"Not as odd."

"Hello? Didn't we just establish this. I am in love with a werewolf. Not only that, but I have blue eyes. And did I mention that my powers just up and changed one day?"

"Point taken."

"As it should."

"But you know, the smell burns my nose."

"Youb said that already. But, I know, I've been around other wolves before."

"You have?"

"Do wolves travel alone?"

"No."

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Bethany, you are really dumb for being around so long."

"Maybe it's because I've been around so long that I'm dumb."

"Wisdom comes with age."

"But technically we don't age."

"Fine."

"We've been talking a lot."

"I know."

"Why's that?"

"Maybe because I read minds last time we were together."

"How long ago was that?"

"A few years."

"Not that long."

"Not long for vampires."

"True."

"Are we done now?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I'm going to start packing, talking this much kind of creeps me out."

"You don't talk much?"

"Well, I do. But usually it's in longer phrases than what we have been using in the past five minutes."

"I see your point."

"So, are we done now?"

"I guess you could say so."

"Ok, well I'm going to pack. Oh yeah by the way, buy me a new car."

"You have all this drama going on and all you can think about is getting a new car?"

"Yes...well no. But thinking about random things helps keep my mind off of that shit and doesn't make me seem insane."

"Really? Well I'll go to a dealership tomorrow. What kind of car do you want?"

"Surprise me. No ugly cars, please."

"Sounds good. See you later, Jera. If you need me you know where I live."

"Since when have you lived?"

"Depends on what you mean by live."

"Ok, we're done here."

"But you brought up the whole-"

"We're done. See you later, Beth."

I shut the door. That was a lot of talking. It was probably rather fast too. I smiled to myself. It was good to have Bethany back. But it did not reek in here. Stupid other vampires' noses. I wonder if it smells to the others. I'll have to ask.


	15. More Calls

My phone started ringing as I finished packing. I snatched it and answered it. "Hello?"

"It's Alice."

"I can tell."

"Nice to hear from you too. So anyway, Edward and I were talking about the...camping trip. And well, I'm not going."

"How come?"

"You would be too lonely." She giggled. "If you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I suspected."

"Edward's going instead. Just you, him and Jazz, nobody else."

"Why isn't anyone else going?"

"Well actually, if Edward had it his way it would only be you and him going-"

I was a tad stricken. "Alice...is there any...visions...I should know about? You know...one of _those_ visions?"

She giggled. "Of course not. Like little Eddie would ever cheat on Bella."

"Little Eddie?"

"But yeah, he wants to talk to you, for some unknown reason that I don't know about."

"I can't tell if that's sarcasm or not."

"It's not," she sounded very cross. "And I want to know why." There was some noise in the background. "Hold on, Jer." More noise. A couple of complaints.Then Alice was back on, "Scarlet wants to talk to you."

"Hi, Jer."

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"I'm fine for now."

"Is that good news?"

"I won't be at dance. If that's what you're wondering."

"So not that good?"

"Right."

"Um...well I wanted to talk to you because I'm a little worried. I heard my name followed by snickering."

"Who did it come from?"

"Alice, Bella, and...Rosalie. Am I screwed?"

"Well I'm going hunting for a couple days. So yes, you probably are screwed."

She sighed, a little aggravated. "Lucky me."

There was noise again in the background. No doubt, Alice was grabbing back her phone. "So anyway, Bells, Little Eddie, and I will probably-"

"I'll stay at your house tonight."

"Why? Oh...yeah. Well Esme will be happy with you staying over."

"I don't eat though..."

"Esme's always happy with company. Anyway, see you in five." I pressed end on the phone and fell back on the bed. I rolled over on Jacob's side and inhaled his scent. I hated hunting trips and avoided them as much as possible. It meant time away from Jacob. Of course every once in a while he'd come with, but that was when he was feeling rather antsy or stressed out.

Where were we going anyway? If it was Edward's planning, it probably be a surprise. Oh joy, I love surprises.

Then a thought hit me. I was going to be away. Meaning that, that slut Rollin could come lurking around and seduce my Jacob. Wow, I made that sound melodramtic. That was not going to happen. That bitch was going to keep her dirty little paws off of Jacob. He was mine. Not hers, I should rip her face off. Maybe I will. That will go on my list of things to do.

I had a plan. Quickly, I dialed in Jacob's number. After two rings he picked up. "Jera," he breathed.

"Hi," I smiled at the sound of his voice. "You've probably guessed or heard that I'm going hunting."

"Yes, I'll miss you," he said sadly.

I sighed. "Me too." I paused for a second. "Well...I just want to remind you that a slut is running around by the name of Rollin..."

"That's an interesting name to call her."

"Well I could call her other things too, but in this discussion, slut is the best name. So, Bella is going to stay over at our house while I'm gone."

"But she was going to help torture Scarlet with Rosalie and Alice."

"They can manage without her. Trust me. But anyway, I know the two of you will have fun. Because you're...what was the term you used again?"

"Kindred spirits?" I heard a inch of embarrassment in his tone.

"Yes, that's it."

"You know, we're kindred spirits too," he said in defense.

"Look...I'm not even quite sure what that means. But I'm assumming it's something good. I'll look it up later."

"How do you not know what that means?"

"I don't know. And is that really relevant? Anyway, the two of you have fun. I'll miss you. And before I leave, I'll make sure to take a steaming hot shower to remind me of you." I giggled. "I'm so weird."

"I love you that way."

"I know, and I love you in your way too. Bye."

"Bye, Jera." I heard the sadness in his voice as he hung up. I felt bad. But it wasn't as if it was my fault that I had to go. It really wasn't. I didn't choose this fate. Then again, since I do believe in faith, I would have ended up a vampire anyway. That's the sad truth.

Stupid past. Stupid fate.

**About the whole kindred spirits thing. Yeah, if you don't get it, go one Stephanie Meyer's site and look on the extras for New Moon. It's about the part for Jacob. I think the whole thing is rather sad. And I get him better now as a character. Of course that was the point of it. But I can tell that the way that Sam and the others explained the whole vampire thing to him was very bias. But then again it's supposed to be. **

**And then there's the thing about Rosalie's call to Edward. That's sad too. I feel bad for being mad at Edward for being an idiot during New Moon. Anyway, COMMENTS MEANS CHAPTERS.**


	16. Sarcasm

In no time, Edward's new, but still as beloved as the last, silver Volvo was in my driveway. I took my bags and walked downstairs, giving Rocket a swift pat on the head as a goodbye. I got in the car, squishing next to Rosalie and Alice.

"Any visions, Alice?" I asked with a grin.

She pouted. "Not about your hunting trip. But I did have one about torturing Scarlet."

"Be kind," Bella said from the passenger seat.

"So then you got Jake's call?"

"Of course I did. We're going to have our own fun."

"Should I be worried about that statement?" Edward asked.

Bella smiled, but glanced down to see how fast Edward was going. "Well, Mr. Speed, you're going to be in a tent with Jera for just as many days. I should be asking the very same question."

I rolled my eyes. "How is it that we all have the same thoughts?" I asked.

"Lack of soul?" Edward suggested.

Bella frowned. "You always bring that up at the wrong time. We've gone over this so many times before." Edward grinned at her.

"And it never ends to be a problem in my mind."

"If you had one," Emmett smirked.

"Oh you are so clever," Rosalie remarked scarcastically.

"Thank you."

"Do you just not know when to shut up?"

"Did I miss something?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Why is it exactly that I'm attracted to him?"

"Oh come on," Alice said. "You just fight like a normal married couple. Except after being married so many times it just happens twice as much."

"Maybe I should stop marrying him."

"Hey!" Emmett cried.

"Well at least you are married," Bella and I scoffed in unison.

"I proposed to you a long time ago," Edward defended himself.

Bella shook her head, "But I told you Renee wouldn't understand. She would probably have a heartattack. Actually, Charlie would have the heart attack. Renee would hold me hostage. But you could try again. By now, I'm supposed to be twenty-one or something like that."

"Well I'll propose later."

"You're so romantic about it."

"Thank you, my dear."

"Sometimes, I wonder if you understand sarcasm. You cease to amaze me."

"Even though you're a vammpire now, too? You got your eternal-"

"Jera, shut him up!" Bella pleaded.

"With pleasure."

She looked at him and started scolding. "You're lucky that I don't just dissapear one night. And you know I could do that."

"Hmmhh, Hmhma, mhu mho mhm hmhm maat mhim he mea hmit mh mht maa mewm."

"Did you catch that?" Alice asked. Edward turned around and flipped me off.

"I'm so offended."

"Why is everyone in this car so sarcastic?" Jasper asked, speaking up for the first time.

"Good question," Bella said. "And no, Edward, it does not have to do with out 'eternal damnation.' " I flung the door open on my side and grabbed my bags. Then The rest of the Cullen's and I watched with joy as Bella, still clumsy, tripped out of the car and caused Edward to speed around at break-neck speed to catch her.

"You know," he said. "You cease to amaze me too. How could anyone pull off being clumsy and a vampire at the same time?"

"You tell me..." she stood up straight with the help of Edward. "Anyway, I have to go pack. I'm heading for Jer's ASAP."

He grinned. "So anxious to get rid of me?"

"Maybe."

Alice looked around. "I feel like talking."

"Good for you," Jasper grumpily said.

She smiled and turned around. "Aw, does wittle Jaspwer need some bwood?" He glared at her with rather dark eyes.

"I have no idea what you just said, but don't ever say it again."

I turned, Rosalie and Emmett had already found a new debate subject. Everyone was preoccupied, but me.

Damn.

I wasn't even home to explain to Gabriel what was going on. And wasn't like Bethany was that much of help. She could be so blonde sometimes, even though she was a pretty good parental figure.

Speaking of, Esme or Carlisle should be around here somewhere. I walked slowly into the Cullen's three-floor, dark blue, Victorian style mansion with white trim. I stepped into the foyer which had a mahogany side table, with a perfect flower arrangement in front of a anitqued gold framed mirror on the left. And a large family portrait, including Bella, on the right.

I walked down the hardwood floor hall. "Hello?"

Esme was in front of me in a matter of moments. "Oh, hi dear!" she exclaimed envloping me in a tight hug. "I heard about what happened..." I frowned at the start and slowly pulled away. "I'm sorry, Jera."

"It's ok. It's not your fault at all."

"I know, but I can't help but feel horrible about the whole incident."

"Do you by chance have any information about the hunting trip we're going on?" I asked. "Because personally I have not the slighest clue about it at all, save who's coming."

She frowned. "I have no idea. But I think it might include a plane..."

"A plane? What, or rather where on earth do we need to fly to?"

"I'm sorry. I don't know either." Esme's demeanor quickly changed. "I'm so glad you're here, though," she said smiling. I put on a convincing smile, not that I held any type of grudge against the Cullen's. No, they were one of my families. It was that I felt horrible about today and just wanted to be with Jacob. He sounded so brokedn over the phone.

"Well, I might as well ask when I am leaving." She smiled nodding. I turned on my heel and headed out the door again. "Edward," I said as I reached them. "When are we leaving?"

He turned away from Bella. Thank God, seeing the two look so happy as a couple made my dry veins course with jealously. "Early tomorrow. I assume that Esme informed you that we were taking a plane."

"Yes, I was wondering about that, do you want me to kill everyone on the plane?" He shrugged, sneaking a glance at Bella, brushing her face quickly.

"I didn't really think about that..."

"And how do you have airline reservations when we just found out today, during school, that we would have to go hunting."

"Well..."

"What do you have planned, Edward?" I asked getting down to the point. His eyes shifted to Bella, his mouth in a hard line.

"We'll take the Volvo," he decided, his eyes had coldness that told me that I should drop the subject.

I nodded, but lowered my mind block. _I'm on to you and not excepting that as an answer. You will have to tell me once Bella's out of earshot. _Then I promptly put it back up and nodded curtly to Edward.

Bella looked at the two of us. "What's going on? Should I really be worried?"

"No," Edward basically growled.

"You're bad at hiding your mood," Bella informed him, turning him to face her. "Besides, your eyes always explain your mood to me."

Edward sighed and ruffled his bronze hair. "It's nothing, I swear. Jera's just being Jera." I rolled my eyes. Predictable, I did that with Jacob. Bella bit her her bottom lip. He pushed a strand of dark brown hair from her face and planted one kiss on her cheek and one on her throat.

"I...have to pack," Bella said submitting herself to defeat.

"Will you need a ride?" Edward asked as she started off.

"Of course I don't. You're not the only one who can run anymore," Bella reminded him.

Edward rolled his eyes. "At least I can run without falling," he muttered.

"I heard that!" Bella called from the house.

I looked at him, "Then why did she shout back?" He shrugged his shoulders. "So, when are we leaving exactly..."

"I told you early morning. But then again, now that we are driving, we might as well start now."

"Now?" I asked surprised.

"Yes, now. Unless you want to spend more time away from your pet."

I whacked him. "I thought you were smarter than Emmett." He chuckled.

"I Just enjoy peeving you."

"Well, peeve Alice."

"But Alice doesn't get annoyed."

"Too bad then," I said starting towards the house.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going to take a shower." Edward sighed in frustration, but I was already up the steps.

Even though I tried to take my shower at a normal human pace so I could enjoy the stinging hot water, which reminded me of Jacob, I ended up taking a very quick shower. I made sure to drying my hair thuroughly just to waste time. Although I had no real reason to do so. When I got back downstairs, Alice informed me that Edward and Jasper were in the car. I smiled and hugged her bye.

"Let me know how it goes," she said frowning. "I have no idea what's supposed to happen." I smiled.

"That's ok," I paused reconsidering my words. "I mean, you know, you can't see them all." I mentally slapped myself after hearing those words coming out of my mouth. "Uh..." Alice giggled. "Quiet. Anyway, have fun torturing Scarlet. Let her get some sleep."

"But that's no fun..."

"I got to go."

"Right."

I turned and left. Edward honked the horn impatiently. I decided to take a nice leisurely stroll to the car. "I hate you," he said.

"Who's being negative now?" But I picked up my pace and was in the backseat next to Jasper within the next few seconds.

"Much better," Edward said, speeding away from the Cullen's. Based on the sun setting, I could tell we were going West.

**OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry but i just went on Stephenie Meyer's site. And I'm sosososososososososososososososososososososososo exciteddddd, but i havta wait for the summer -.- OH SORRY you might not know what i'm talking about. go to the extra stuff like other projects or something. note THE FOURTH BOOK IS BREAKING DAWN and theres more stuff about updates on Eclipse. im so excited you have no idea.**


	17. Crossing the Border, the Illinois Border

**Sorry I've been sick. No fun let me tell you that.**

I waited a solid hour before asking Edward what he had in store for me. "Edward..." I started.

"I'll tell you. If you don't get out of the car."

"At over a hundred miles per hour? Sounds tempting. I'm serious, that might be fun."

He glared at me.

Jasper spoke up, "Just tell her Edward."

"You don't know what's going on either!"

He shrugged, "Another reason to tell her." I giggled.

"Ok," he paused for a moment to dodge a slower moving car. "Well, I got a rather infuriating e-mail from Mike."

"Mike who?"

"Newton."

"Of course who else?" I muttered.

Jasper smiled, "He liked Bella a whole lot in Forks. Edward and Mike liked to butt heads."

"Ah...Wait if you hate him, how did he get your e-mail?"

Edward frowned. "So, I'm on my way to Forks to prove him wrong."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I never said I would."

"You said you were going to tell me-"

"What I had planned." He rolled his eyes. "Now you're sounding like Bella."

"I don't know if that is supposed to be offensive."

"So you're taking us to Forks, not because we need to hunt, but because Newton pissed you off? I could have come with Alice?" Jasper said glaring at Edward.

"Yeah! This is all for personal gain," I chimed in smugly.

"Fine, let me tell you the whole story. No interruptions." He waited for us to object, but we didn't. "So, like I said Newton sent me an irritating e-mail about Bella. Apparently he thinks that Bella broke up with me. I haven't the slightest idea where he got that notion from. Then he continued to say how I couldn't possibly ever get another girlfriend." I didn't like where this was going.

"So you two are tagging along to prove him wrong. Well, mainly Jera..."

I growled. "You are using me for some stupid illigitamite feud between you and a human?" I finished in a loud tone.

"Well, I very well couldn't bring Bella."

"I better get to go hunting," Jasper said crossly. I couldn't help but giggle.

Edward let a little chuckle out. "I don't want to know the types of pranks I'll be targeted for if you don't."

"I'm still not going to pose as your girlfriend," I mumbled bitterly.

"Jacob and Bella did it once..."

"I got to teach Jake how to put up a mind block,I said remembering the other little secret that had been slipped to everyone because of Jacob's mind.

He smiled triumphetly, "Actually, Bella told me that one."

"I'll have to kill her."

"Good luck with that one," Jasper said laughing.

It was quiet for a few moments. "Fine," I surrendered. "I'll do it." I paused thinking. "Though, I am a little curious."

"About?" Edward asked raising an eyebrow.

"The Quiliete wolves."

"Is our treaty still valid?" Jasper asked.

Realization hit us all. If the treaty wasn't valid, we weren't safe. "We can stay away from La Push," Edward said calmly. "Then they probably won't catch our scent." I looked at him in the mirror, his eyes were growing dark.

"How many are there?" I asked, lucky that my voice didn't shake. I knew what werewolves could do to my kind.

"I don't know," Edward mumbled.

I started trying to do math in my head. "Five," I stated pretty confidently.

"Are you positive?"

"There was five went I first went cliffdiving. Jacob's out now, but before he was another one joined them."

"That makes me nervous," Jasper admitted.

"Me too," I said.

Edward sighed, "We should, be fine." But his eyes were edging to a much darker shade.

It was very silent, deathly silent. It stayed that way for a while. All of us deep in our thoughts. I wondered what they were all thinking, it was almost as if the fact that I could no longer read minds was very prominent. It hadn't bothered me before, but now it was kind of nerve-racking. And I didn't understand why. Why did my power change anyway? Did my personality change drastically halfway through my human life? That definately sounded plausable. But what could have happened?

"Jera," it was Edward.

"What?" I asked annoyed.

"I've grown accustomed to that face you just had on. Stay out of your mind."

"You do it too," I accused.

"Yeah, I did. And that led me to leaving Bella."

"What face was that anyway, for me?"

"If I tell you then you'll never do it again."

"Damn you," I muttered.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Not Jacob. Nothing really." It was the truth.

"Are we going to play twenty questions?" he asked.

"No. And Edward Cullen, you dare try to get it out of me and I will send this car off a cliff." Suddenly my body completely relaxed. I wasn't sure if I should have been angry or pleased with Jasper.

"You're welcome," he replied, to my shift in moods. I smiled.

It was silent again. "Were you thinking about Sue?" Edward asked.

I growled. "No, why can't you just drop it?" It became silent once more.

"So..." Jasper said breaking the silence. We were crossing the border out of Illinois. Then he fell silent. I saw Edward arch his eyebrows.

"Number?" He asked. What on earth was he talking about?

"This better not be twenty questions," I remarked.

Edward suddenly pulled over to the edge of the road in endless miles of farmland and slammed on the breaks. "Out," he muttered. Was he talking to me? I started opening the door, unsure what else to do. "Not you," he said turning to me. "I'm talking about Bella and Alice."

Bella? Alice? Oh, this makes sense now. We had a little stow-away situation. "Come out, dear," Jasper said.

"Yes, you too, Bella," Edward said. I turned around to see Alice and Bella materialize in the back seat.

"Jazz," Alice whined. "Why did you give us away?"

"Edward," Bella joined in the whining. "Why are you talking to Mike?"

I erupted into giggles. Everyone turned to stare at me, eyes expectant that I would let them in on what was going on with me. "Oh, nothing. It's just kind of a comical situation...too me at least. Should I start whining to my boyfriend too?"

"Jera, Jake isn't here," Alice said a little concerned.

"You don't think I know that?" I snapped. "It's just," I rolled my eyes. "You four are hysterical to those who aren't apart..." I looked at all of them. "Shutting up."

Edward smirked. "Ok, Bella, Alice, out."

Bella pouted. "So eager to date Jera." She climbed to the front and planted a kiss on Edward's lips. Alice sighed and got out.

"Bells! We've got a whiles to run. Let's go." The couple in the front parted reluctantly. Alice and Bella waved and then dashed off into the cornfield. I shook my head, and flipped over to the back and laid down.

Jasper leaned over. "What are you doing?" I looked up and saw that we were already speeding.

"Nothing really. I'm going to try to sleep."

"Sleep?"

I nodded.

"Uh, you do realize that-"

"I know, but maybe I'll get close to being asleep." Edward chuckled from the front. I smiled. "Yeah, I know that's crazy."

"You're crazy," Edward muttered.

"You were the one telling me that I wasn't insane!"

"Well-"

"You know what?" I said closing my eyes. "Be quiet because I'm asleep."

He and Jasper laughed. "Then how come you're talking?" he asked mockingly. I didn't fall for the trap and said nothing.

**Hehe. FYI, this is Edward's new Volvo. Not the same style as the original. But you know after more additions to the "family" you need a bigger car. But it of course is silver.**


	18. Save the Dear

Needless to say, I never got to the part where I actually feel asleep. Edward, the little angel he is rambled on and on about his life and other stuff out loud. Not to mention Jasper's snickers every time Edward starting talking again. They both better expect horrible things to happen to them. Hm... that makes me wonder...

Sure enough a second later the Volvo screeched to a hault. I smiled to myself. Edward stopped talking about '70s and started cursing loudly. He didn't suspect me. Jasper better keep his mouth close. No doubt by now he's realized by my mood that I was the cause of our sudden car issues.

"Why the hell won't my car move?" he shrieked. I mentally giggled; I hadn't seen him this mad since Forks. Ha! I do miss pissing him off quite a bit. It's very entertaining. "I swear to fucking God if Alice did something to this piece of shit I shoot that whore." Wow, three swears in a row. Alice a whore? I couldn't help but let out a giggle. Who knew that messing with his car would make his so angry? Jasper joined me, and the two of us fell into a fit of laughter.

I looked up at Edward in the rearview mirror. His eyes were lighter and he displayed a smile. "Sorry," I said between laughs. "Just I had to do that." I released my hold on the breaks. "Ok, let's go."

Edward started accelerating the car. "Prepare to pay, Jera," he smirked.

"You start talking again and I'll I stop this car again."

"Don't!" he said slowling the car a little. "The last time you stopped us, we were going over a hundred. You'll ruin the breaks!"

I frowned. "Fine, I won't because I want to get this over with as soon as possible."

"Thank you."

"You do realize-"

"Yes, our hunting trip is going to be war."

"Good, as long as that's understood."

"Jasper, you're not safe either."

"What?" Jasper cried. "I didn't do anything."

"You snickered," I pointed out.

"But that's no reason..."

"Look," Edward said. "You're familiar with war. This should be to your advantage."

"What war?" I asked

"Civil," Jasper said a tad solemnly.

"Nice. Union or Confederate?"

"Confeder-"

"You lost!" I said childishly.

"No really? I wasn't informed by my Social Studies teachers."

I laughed, "Sorry I couldn't resist that. Not a sore spot I hope..."

"No not at all, I don't really mind. I just would like to point out to Edward that although I was major for the army doesn't mean that I remember everything about being in the army. Plus, my enemies aren't mortals and I don't have any cannons, guns, or soldiers."

"But you admit that you remember some things about combat?" Edward said.

"Yes," sighed Jasper.

"The defense rests," Edward said triumphantly.

I rolled my eyes. "We have to be the two oddest families in America."

"It's hard not to be when you're the same age every decade," Edward shrugged.

"True." I paused. "Where are we anyway? I've been quote unquote sleeping for a while now."

"Washington," Jasper replied.

"Already? How long have we been in the car?"

"Ten hours more or less," Edward said.

I looked out the window. We were passing through a fairly green, suburban town that I recognized from when Gabriel and I had first driven to Forks. No surprise that it hadn't changed much. It was an overcast day and the sun barely peeked through. "Looks like we're in luck," I muttered. "No very sunny, and knowing Forks, it's probably raining."

"Probably," Edward and Jasper both agreed.

"Are we staying at the old house?"

"Of course," Edward said. "The population of animals is probably up by now. It's time we balance it out a little." He smirked, "Maybe there will be a mountian lion or two."

"I can't believe you actually enjoy the taste of the animals. I mean, it's not half bad, but compared to a human..." I trailed off.

He rolled his eyes. "Have you had a mountain lion before?"

"No."

"Then don't prejudge its taste."

I crossed my arms and pretended to pout. "Fine I won't then. But you have to let me try some."

"Ha," Edward shook his head. "Not going to happen."

"Then I'll never know how supposedly succulent they are."

"Fine," he grumbled. "You can have one. But Jasper better stay away from them then!"

Jasper held his hands up. "I was planning on going for the bears. You know, Emmett's been gone for a while and there's no doubt that their population has grown."

"Save the dear," I muttered.

They both laughed happily. "That's right," Edward said. "Save the dear."

"Well we should, otherwise then too many dear will die and then all the predators will die."

"We all know how it's a chain reaction, Jer," Jasper assured me.

"Then why were you making fun of me?"

Jasper smiled, "It's the wording and context. It's not every day that you hear, 'Save the dear,' coming from a vampire."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." Then under my breath I muttered extremely quickly, "Just be prepared, you two are going to get it."

"What did you say?" Edward asked.

"Nothing," I said smiling sweetly and putting on my most innocent face.

For a couple of minutes I sat staring out the window. The scenery mainly a blur of green and brown. "So," I said at last. "Is there anything I should know for this whole Mike thing?"

Edward thought for a moment, closing his eyes. "No," he said. "I don't think so. I guess we'll pretend that I'm keeping you in the dark about Bella. Let him have some fun. But not too much, we'll have to be," he swallowed hard. "Couple-y." I groaned.

"Define, 'couple-y,' " I said hoping it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

"Try...kissing?"

"Ew, no!" I shrieked.

"Thanks, that definately boosted my self confidence. Please, Jer? It'll only be one or two."

"What's the point of that anyway?" I said still in semi-hysterics.

Edward rubbed the back of his head. "I absolutely hate Mike. And if he thinks that Bella was basically pitying me, I want to send another thing his way."

"You're kidding," I whined.

"Please?" he begged.

"What am I supposed to tell Jacob? Bella?"

"We don't."

"You sicken me, Edward Cullen."

"Well, Jera Gunner, it's not like I want to do this anymore than you do."

"It was YOUR idea!"

"And you're going along with it."

"Says who?"

"You."

"Since when?"

"Back in Illinois. Didn't she say that Jasper?"

I turned to Jasper, begging for him to say no. But he nodded his head. I pouted and slumped into the seat, accepting defeat. "That's better," Edward said calmly.

"How can you not freak out by the thought of kissing a girl who isn't Bella?"

"I love Bella, but there's a little thing called acting. And all good actors have to kiss people who they really don't want to."

"Who's boosting whose self confidence now?" I asked mockingly.


	19. Mike Newton

As we drove past the town limits into Forks, we all sighed with relief. "Thank God," I whispered. "This trip to Forks was worse than the first."

"I'm glad you feel that way," Edward muttered sarcastically.

"Not _my_ fault," Jasper declared. I smiled. It wasn't Jasper's fault. It was the fault of the vampire who wanted me to pose as his girlfriend for some stupid human...who probably will die without making it to even a footnote in history. Hey, might sound mean, but it's true. "When do you even plan on visiting Newton?" Jasper asked, saving me a question.

Edward looked at the tinhy digital clock. "Well it's one. So I'd say today." Then he looked up at the sky. "And it looks like you're right, Jer. It should start raining any moment now." A few minutes later a light, but steady, drizzle started.

I growled. "Joy, rain." Edward pulled into the now basically invisible road that led to the Cullen house. "Home sweet, home," I murmered as the giant white house came into view. On the large front lawn was some deer. They were munching happily on the overgrown grass, but when they saw the car rushing towards them, they dashed off.

"Save the deer," we all said laughing.

When we walked into the house, everything was exactly how it was when we had last lived there. Almost. Everything that wasn't brought with us was covered in sheets. But other than that and a few missing objects, not stolen of course, it was pretty much the same. I headed upstairs to change.

"Formal, or casual?" I called over my shoulder.

"Casual," Edward replied from somewhere downstairs. "But look hot."

"I'm insulted," I said. "Isn't that a given?" The two guys chuckled.

"See, Bella would never say that."

"And is that an issue?"

"No, I think Newton will think that you are a decided improvement." I smiled to myself, despite the lack of meaning from this Mike's approval.

I went to my old room, which in reality was a guest room, and sat down on the queen size bed just to collect my thoughts for a moment. Then, I pulled out a swoop-neck light purple sweater and a dark pair of jeans that flared a little at the bottom. I looked in the mirror to smooth down any wrinkles. After that was done I pulled out a necklace that had a silver heart at the end- Gabriel had convinced Jacob to buy it for one of our anniversaries, I love that kid. I put it on loosely so it laid on my bare skin above the sweater. On the way out, I fetched a pair of black heels from my bag. Yes, it was only supposed to be a hunting trip, but I like a choice when it comes to shoes.

"Hot enough?" I asked when I came down the stairs. The two boys nodded in approval. "Good, because I'm not going to prance around dressed like a hoe. Can we go now?" I asked when no one made an effort to move.

Edward stood. I glared at Jasper who hadn't budged. "What?" he asked. "This doesn't have to do with me."

"It doesn't have to do with me either," I growled as I grabbed a jacket with a hood.

"Lighten up," Edward said as he followed me out to the car. "There's no need to be in a bad mood." I turned around to see a smirk on his face.

"I'll just remember that when I'm pulling pranks on your sorry little ass." Edward laughed and started speeding toward the downtown area. "I thought we were going to visit that human guy."

"Mike?" I nodded. "He's working at the family hiking store."

"No college?"

"He's already stuck in this town, what can I say?" I shrugged. "That's his parent's fault. Although I'm sure with the amount of brain power he has, they did him a favor in opening that store."

"You are cruel."

"Just telling it the way it is." The total drive took about five minutes. That was good news for me, becuase I don't think I would be able to take much more than that. "You ready?" Edward asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt. I nodded, open the door, and got out of the car.

We walked through the doors of the little store hand in hand. The hand in hand part made me shudder a little bit. A little bell clinked to acknowledge our presence. A tall man with blonde hair turned around from stocking some things on the shelves behind the counter. His intial smile dropped when he saw that Edward was there- not a day older than the last time he'd seen him, at that. This had to be Mike.

As Briskly he walked up to us, we took off our coats and placed them on the rack next to the door. "Hi," Mike said putting on a completely fake smile. He shook both of our hands. Then I watched helplessly as he ran his eyes over my body. How I wanted to smack him. "I'm Mike," he said to me, finally making eye contact.

"Jera," I cooed, putting on an equally fake smile. Then I shifted my eyes to the shelf that Mike had just organized and made a couple items fall to the floor. Then, ignoring what happened, I continued. "So you and Eddie know each other from high school?" I asked, resting my head on Edward's shoulder and smiling over the fact that I was already starting my revenge.

Mike nodded his head. "Yes, that's true. Nice to see you again Cullen."

"See why I hate this guy?" Edward whispered through a closed mouth. I nuzzled my head on his shoulder as a mock "yes." I closed my eyes for a moment and imagined Jacob smiling at me. Although it was a nice sight for my brain, it made me feel guilty.

"Uh so," Mike said clapping his hands together and looking around his empty store. "I'd better pick up those things and put the rest away, then we can head out for lunch."

Edward and I sat down at two chairs in the store while Mike, busied himself with putting together his store. "Am I going to have to really eat?" I whined.

"Yeah, you are," Edward said. "We all have to make sacrafices."

"Not Jasper," I pointed out.

"The lucky bastard." Edward chuckled quietly. "You did not have to hear Newton's thoughts, though. He was undressing you with his mind..." He shook his head.

"The pervert!" I squeeked almost a little too loud. I then searched the store for Mike and threw some more items off the shelf after he'd put them in place.

"Yeah, he's planning on talking about high school, and bringing up Bella."

"What college are we supposed to go to?"

"Stanford."

"Are you sure nobody he knows goes there?"

"Positive. And by the way, please do not call me Eddie."

"What's wrong with that?" I asked fake pouting.

"You..."

"I already started with calling you that, so I'm not going to stop."

"Fine," he growled.

"You should be gloating."

"Why?"

"Isn't he jealous?"

"Very."

"Then you've already won."

"He's going to turn around. Why does this guy plan everything before he does it?"

I sighed then scooted closer to Edward and smiled up toward him. "I haven't the slightest idea, Eddie." I felt Mike watching us now.

He kissed me on the cheek. "What a loser," he whispered into my ear.

"Was that the one kiss?" I asked hoping that he would say yes.

"Nope."

"I hate you," I said running my hand through his hair. Mike made a noise of disgust. "Is he looking now?" Edward shook his head and I immeadiately backed off of hims. "Good."

"You liked it," Edward teased.

"Gross, no. Are we almost done here?" He nodded, standing. "What are you doing?"

He started silently walking up to Mike. When Edward reached him he tapped Mike on the shoulder. I supressed my laughter when he jumped. "Sorry," Edward said. "But are you going to be done soon? Jera's getting very hungry. And not just for food," he added. Touche.

Mike looked toward me. I decided to tease him a little and lean over just a bit. "Oh yeah, sorry," he said. "I forgot about you guys." What a liar.

"Shall we then?" Edward asked turning to the door. Mike replied by walking toward the coat rack to fetch his coat. I stood and went over to grab Edward's and my coat. Edward was by my side as was Mike.

"Here you go, honey," I purred as I handed the coat over to Edward.

He pulled on the coat, "Thank you, dear," he started to lean down. It must be time for that dreaded kiss. I quickly closed in the space between our lips. As soon as my cold lips touched his I wanted to pull away, but I knew that I shouldn't unless I wanted my hair a different color. Also, I heard Mike's heart starting to beat faster, probably with envy. When we did pull away, Edward whispered, "Good job," into my ear. "But," he continued, "This will be an interesting car ride."

"What do you mean by that?" I whispered back as we walked out of the door. He didn't answer. Great.

**I'm wondering if anyone noticed anything about the first sentence. I'll be surprised if you figure it out.**

**FYI: Both Edward and Jera do hate doing this and they will express how much they do so in later chapters.**


	20. Hunger

**Ugh! Finally! Fanfic wouldn't let me upload this document. Sometimes this site gets on my nerves.**

"What are you doing?" I hissed as Edward slid into the backseat of Mike's car with me.

He turned to close the door, "Just go along with it, Jer," he said silently.

"I most certainly will not."

"Do it," he growled.

"Nope."

"Do you want Newton's blood on your hands?" he asked.

"I'm not going to kill him, Edward," I retorted.

"I know, but if I do, it will because you can't act."

I sighed in defeat. "Fine..." I looked up to the front seat, Mike wasn't paying attention to us and was already driving despite the fact that neither Edward nor I had are seatbelts on- not that it really mattered -how considerate. Suddenly Edward was very close to me. "This is going to be a long ride, isn't it?" I whispered.

He nodded. "Newton's going slow on purpose."

"But, we're in downtown already."

"He's taking us to Port Angeles." I shook my head. Great.

I paused, "You are going to explain this to Bella and Jacob, not me."

"Alright," he said loud enough for Mike to hear. Then, he start nuzzling me.

"I hate you," I whispered. "I'm going to kill you."

He turned to speak into my ear, "I'm already dead."

"Like I didn't know that-"

"Giggle," he directed me, still speaking softly into my ear. I complied unhappily. "Smile, come on Jera, be an actress."

I smiled and narrowed my eyes. "This seems a lot like what James did to Bella over the phone," I said harshly. Immeadiately Edward sat up straight, his eyes cold.

"You know nothing about that."

"Yes I do. What do you think Alice told me my first night?" He didn't reply to me. "Sorry," I said even quiet for a vampire. Rolling my eyes, I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulders while placing a pleasant fake smile on my face and closing my eyes.

"Thank you," he whispered smugly while playing with my hair.

I sighed, "Your ass is on the line."

"Like I didn't know that." I placed one of my hands on his chest.

"You are so screwed."

I looked up at Edward. He arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?" he asked in human tone.

"You'll see when we get home," I said with the same volume. Then I rested my head on his shoulders and tried to fall asleep. It was very silent in the car. The only noise I heard was the whooshing of the wind against the moving car and...

A heartbeat.

I mean, this wasn't anything new to me, but suddenly it was as if my ears were recieving a louder noise. Sharply I inhaled the scent of blood. Human blood. The human that's enclosed in a tight quarters with me. Defenseless.

What was Edward thinking bringing me around a human before I've fed? "Edward," I whispered very rapidly. "Mike is...well alive..."

"Yeah, I was just thinking that myself."

"Obviously you haven't been thinking much lately."

"Apparently," he said sounding actually appalled at himself. "Do you think you can last?"

I thought for a moment, which was difficult to keep my mind away from the easy meal in front of me. "Can I just stop his heart for a minute?" I asked.

Edward sighed. "You are thinking illogically. You stop his heart and he dies."

"What's so wrong with that?"

"Snap out of it, Jera."

"Out of what? It's only nature." I looked up at him. "Are you going to help me or do I have to do this on my own?" The car stopped with a little help from me.

Tightly, Edward grabbed me. "Don't," he hissed. I snarled lightly.

"You are just pissed 'cas you haven't been truely satisfied in years." In the front seat my prey was cussing purfusely trying to start his car again. I smiled and yanked my arm out of Edward's grip. My prey was getting out of the car, so I got out as well. As soon as I did, I froze Edward so he wouldn't disturb me. A light mist instantly covered me.

The human was screaming at the car, his face red. I couldn't have stressed out meal, they never tastes so great. Quickly, I walked up to the human, "Need help?" I asked trying to seduce the pathetic creature. He looked up and his blue eyes softened as he spotted me. My prey nodded.

I smiled and quickly pulled him into a passionate kiss. At first the human was tense, but in a couple of seconds his hormones kicked in and he started gripping my body. Soon, his tongue was begging for entrance into my mouth.

How could I deny is final wish?

**And cut. :D Jera's lost her mind. Eh, it is kinda Edward's fault. **


	21. A Return to Normalcy

**Sorry about the shortness. Fyi, I started this chapter before I posted the last one.**

**I WILL AWARD YOU WITH A COOKIE IF YOU CAN TELL ME WHO SAID THE TITLE OF THIS CHAPTER. hint: it's a president.**

It wouldn't be much longer. My body quivered with excitement as a opened my mouth. A brush of my tooth on any bit of the flesh in his mouth would open a wound, would be just enough. Finally, after more than three years, a real meal.

The human started exploring my mouth, but he didn't come near a tooth. I pressed myself up against my prey to entice him more. His pulse thudded erratically and loudly in my ears. I pushed him onto the street feeling alive. Once more I took a dive for his mouth, but ended up bringing my mouth down to his neck, when I realized the human was knocked out. I inhaled the scent. Wonderful.

I suddenly found myself whacked away from my prey. My silent assaulter was none other than Edward. He wanted his own piece of the human. Well that was just too bad. I lunged for him. He met me halfway, slapping me across the face. "Jera!" he screamed right in my face. "What would Jacob think?"

"Who's Jacob?" I growled at him, eyeing my prey. He remained silent. What was he waiting for?

Oh no. Jacob.

I fell to my knees. "What have I done?" I wailed while sobbing dryly.

"You lost control, that's all."

"That's all?! What did I do?!" The past five minutes were a fuzzy blur. Edward pointed to a body sprawled on the ground. It was Mike. "Did I...?" I gasped. He shook his head. "What did I do?"

"Don't worry about it...We'll have to leave him here though. You need to hunt right now. That's all we can do."

"Will he be alright?" I asked starting to stand. Edward nodded. "Thank God."

Soon we were in the giant backyard of the Cullen's residence. And I was well fed, kind of.

The word, monster was playing in my head on repeat. Monster. Monster. Monster. I'm a monster that feeds mercilessly off of what I used to be.

"Stop thinking," Edward commanded as we walked through the back door.

"You can't hear my thoughts."

"But I kno what you are thinking."

"Do you?"

"More than you can imagine."

"Scary," I murmered.

Edward was already in the living room with Jasper. "You get anything yet?" he asked.

Jasper looked at me and Edward. "What happened?"

"Did you hunt yet?" I asked trying to ignore him.

"Yes, I did..."

Edward started heading up the stairs. "Good, get everything together, we're leaving now."

"Jera, what happened?" I left the room without saying a word of reply.

We were back in Illinois before I realized we had started moving. I was entirely zoned out. For all I could tell no one spoke the entire way as well.

The guilt was chewing away at me. What if I hadn't lost my control of Edward? I could be on a killing spree right now. One human wouldn't be enough to fill me, I knew that.

Jacob was waiting outside the door. He smiled at me excitedly. I tried to return the enthusiasm, but I knew it looked fake. He frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked as he took me into his burning arms. I couldn't respond. I only choked before breaking down into dry sobs. He picked me up and brought me upstairs to our room, where he cradled me for Lord knows how long.

"Jacob," I sputtered, at last. "I'm a monster."

"You are no more a monster than me."

"Not true." He didn't respond, only stroking my hair. "I almost killed somebody..." I started. I felt his muscles tighten a little. "Mike Newton." Jacob chuckled. "Not funny," I said irratated.

"Sorry," he muttered. "Just, I've wanted to kill him..."

"But I was only a second away from truely doing so."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

So I told him. Well, as much as I remembered, which wasn't very much. I could remember telling Edward something along the lines of being brainless recently. Then it was almost nothing until I realized who I was, who Jacob was.

"Why does this scene seem familiar?" I asked staring up into his troubled face.

"History repeats itself," he replied simply with a small shrug. I drew my arms around his neck and kissed him. His pulse and energy coarsed through me. I've missed him so much.

That night I spent curled up in his arms, trying to sleep. But whenever I was close, sleep evaded me once more. Damn sleep.

I arrived at school to be greeted by an unhappy Scarlet...an unhappy, pink haired, Scarlet. "What happened?" I managed as Jacob and I stifled our laughs.

"What do you think happen?" she said through gritted teeth.

"Alice...?"

"Bingo. I can't believe that you didn't get my message."

"Let's just say that the past few days have been really bad for me." Scarlet's mouth hung open and she stared at me in silence. I shook my head. "It's not what you think; I'll explain it later. So how did this message go anyway?"

Scarlet though unhappily retold her message, which included an impersonation of a murderous sounding Alice snatching the phone from poor, weak Scarlet. It was very entertaining. By the end Jacob and I were in hysterics. Of course, she didn't find her dilemma too funny and tried to hurt us. That didn't go over too well...

And with that day gone everything was restored to a new normal. Anthony had a job. Bethany kept Gabriel preoccupied. Leaving Jacob and I to do...well anything we wanted. Sue began to assimilate with our group better. And I continued to silently growl at dance when Melanie and I had to partner.

**No it's not over. Ha! Like that would be my ending. Seriously, man, there's still like five major things that have to happen before the story's over.**


	22. I don't have a title for it yet

**Ok sorry about taking so long to update. ive been toying with this and the next chapter. and i just kind of decide to combine them together. **

**Oh and congrats to Holly Harper () she got it right. harding was the president to say that. but hoover was an idiot too. SO HERES YOUR COOKIE :D**

Everything was normal until the week before winter break. When my "life" decided to act out again.

Gabriel came bounding down the stairs to the living room where I sat watching a new episode of one of my favorite shows. "I know something you don't know," he sang happily.

"I don't really care," I said mocking his tone.

He leaned over the couch, "Oh, I think you do," he said with a sly smile.

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?" He nodded. I grabbed his tiny body and held it tight. "Tell me, in that case."

"Don't say anything, Gabe!" Jacob practically roared from upstairs.

"Well that gives me hint," I said to Gabriel who just giggled and smiled.

Soon Jacob was in the living room with us, out of breath. "There you are," he said angrily to Gabriel.

"Pretend like I'm telling you the secret," Gabriel said too fast and quiet for Jacob to understand.

"Ok," I said, playing along.

"So how are you today?"

"I'm good. You?"

"I'm fantastic!"

"That's great to hear." We were silent for a moment I looked up at Jacob who was fuming. "You know, dear," I said to him in a normal voice. "You have a bad temper."

He chuckled wryly and then grabbed Gabriel from out of my arms. "What did you tell her, you little leech?" Jacob asked while holding Gabriel upsidedown by the feet.

"Nothing, you mutt," he spat back folding his arms over his chest.

"Watch your language you two," I said. They were booth quiet for a moment, staring each other down. Then, abruptly, Jacob let go and let Gabriel fall to the ground. Lucky for his vampire reflexes he didn't land on his head. Like it would have hurt, anyway.

He got up, snarled a little at Jacob then ran out of the room. Jacob laughed then looked at me. It was my time to be pissed. "We were just playing," he explained.

"Which part was the playing?" I asked skeptically.

"The part right now."

"So you do have a secret." I said with a smile. He faulted for a moment. When he opened his mouth, I propelled myself against him, slamming him to the ground. "Tell me," I said, while pinning him to the ground.

He struggled, but I just used my power for reenforcement. "Tell me," I repeated.

"Never," Jacob said smugly.

"Well, then I guess we do this the hard way." I started kissing his jaw. Instantly his heart rate increased. "What is it?" I cooed.

He cleared his throat. "Nothing," he said with a shakey voice. I stroked his chest and then put my torso down on his.

"No secrets between us," I whispered into his ear, while playing with his short hair. Then I kissed him hard. By the time that he started kissing back I was gone. "Will you tell me?" I purred.

"Please stop. It's not fair, I can't move," he begged.

"You will when you tell me. In the mean time..." I traced the veins in his arms. Then I kissed his neck.

Jacob's heart rate continued to climb. "I'm taking you to France for winter break!" he finally broke out.

"That's better," I said gently while releasing him from my hold. Instantly, he grabbed me and pulled me to the floor. And he let loose his sexual tensions that I had just spent the past couple of minutes building.

----

"Paris," Scarlet and Sue echoed in unison. I nodded happily. Of course, Scarlet understood this better than Sue, who was oblivious to...well basically everything about me, but the again so was much of this world.

"I can't believe your parents are taking you to France," Sue said with a glint of envy in her eyes. "My mother just sits at home working on her projects, while my father's the one who travels the globe."

"You don't go on any trips with him?" Alice asked, suddenly behind her.

She shook her head sadly. "My mom thinks traveling's too risky."

"But your dad does it..."

"She says he's old enough to put his life in danger."

"Oh..."

Sue turned around to Alice. "It's ok, I don't really mind."

At the end of day, Sue really took me by surprise and asked me to come over to her house. "You know," she said. "We can watch a movie and stuff."

"Yeah," I said without thought. "Sounds great. What did you have in mind?"

"Rent..."

"You are speaking my language." She and I grinned.

I passed by Jacob, "Hey," I said giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Can you take my car to my house?" I asked him sweetly. "I'm heading over to Sue's house."

"Sure," he said as he snatched my keys from where I usually kept them in my purse.

"Thank you," I sang as I walked away. "Remember, it's the new Boxster." Yes, I had a new car. Curtesy of Bethany who loved to spoil me and Gabriel.

Sue lived fairly close to the school, so rather than wasting gas, she just walked. When we walked into her house she called out, "Mom? I'm home! Oh by the way, I brought a friend over."

Shit.

I made a stupid move, didn't I? Going to the house of your cousin that thinks you dissappeared decades ago, wasn't exactly the best thing to do. I prayed that she wouldn't be able to pick out the ressembalence other than the name. Maybe I wouldn't even have to meet...er...reunite, I guess, with her.

"Oh, really, Sue? Why don't you bring her...or him in here to meet me." So much for that plan.

I shuffled behind Sue, nervous. In the room was a TV turned to some show on TNT. On a faded tan couch sat a woman with wirey salt and pepper hair tied back into a pony tail. This had to be -uh- Sue's mom. She was busy pounding on the laptop that sat on her lap.

"Mom, this is Jera," Immediately the woman's head jerked up. "Jera, this is my mom."

"Please, call me Sarah," she said eyeing me suspiciously. I reached out and shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you," I said calmly.

"Yes...you too. Say Jera..."

"Yes?"

"What's you're mother's name?"

"Bethany."

"Where are you from?"

"Omaha."

"Ho-"

"Mom," Sue interceded. "This isn't twenty questions."

Sarah looked at me again. Then at her daughter. "Doesn't she look like my cousin?"

"Which one, Mom?" she said impatiently.

"Jera," she said with an iciness in her voice.

I contemplated for a split-second. Should I reply? "Yes?" I said, hoping that they wouldn't notice the delay.

"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking about my cousin. I lost her a long time ago. Do you know anything about that?" she said, still giving me a funny look.

Yes. Yes. Yes. "No," I said. Sarah pursed her lips.

"Of course you wouldn't know. The whole thing happened years before you were born."

"Mom..." Sue said, shooting me an apologetic look.

"Jera, were you adopted?" Sarah pressed on despite Sue's pleas. Remember, stay calm, there's no reason to worry. No sensible person would believe her.

"No." Thank God I wasn't living with the Cullens. Then, my story wouldn't play out.

"You're lying."

"Mom!" Sue shrieked having enough of her mother's antics. "Leave her alone. We are going to watch a movie. Do not interrupt us." Quickly, Sue left the room and headed towards the stairs. I followed, not wanting to be alone with Sarah much longer.

"Something's not right with that girl," I heard Sarah mutter under her breath. "She's exactly like Jera. It has to be her. No one had eyes like that. And the name is too unfamiliar for it to be a coincidence... I don't know..."

When we were in the sanctuary behind Sue's door, she apologized for her mom. "She's still hung up about Jera's dissappearence." Guilt stung me. I couldn't even remember Sarah from my human life. But here she was still thinking about me.

After the movie was finished, Sue gave me a lift back home and excused her mom once more. I told her not to worry about it. The ironic thing was, is that I would, in fact be worrying about it. What would Sarah do if she could actually piece it together? At least Jacob wouldn't be telling her any legends...


	23. Paris

**In honor of the Superbowl, here's a short, but important chapter.**

**GO BEARS!!!! **

The rest of the week passed, silently. I packed for France, excited that I would be going there with Jacob. What kind of drama is going to follow us to France? And if some does, then I will be sincerely pissed. So I already prewarned people annoying me during my trip and planned on leaving my phone at home.

We made it to the airport without event. We boarded the plane, nothing wrong yet. We crossed the ocean, no crash. We landed on time in the correct airport, everything still going smoothly. It seemed like I was pushing my luck.

"Jake?" I asked as we walked through the terminal.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know French?"

"Very little, you?"

"Yes."

"Then why'd you ask?"

"Just curious," I said smiling at him. "And remember, I don't eat...so yeah, do what you want with that piece of information."

He stopped. "You mean no restraunts?" I looked at him puzzled. "Gotcha'," he proclaimed with a smile.

"Shut up." I pushed him playfully.

Jacob shook his finger, "Not in public, Jer, we do that at the hotel." I rolled my eyes and walked off without him. Outside it was snowing. A thin layer of blanket covered Paris.

"Did I pick the right place or what?" Jacob asked while snaking his are around my waist. I nodded my head and rested it on his shoulder.

We even made it all the way to the hotel without so much as a delay.

I deserved this break.

Our entire visit was perfect. We didn't celebrate Christmas. We didn't do anything in particular that was special. Most of the time we spent together wandering the streets of the city.

On our last night in the city, Jacob and I stood on a bridge over the Marne River. The moon was full and shone down on the snow. Part of the river had broken through the cold and rushed about a little. It was incredibly silent between the two of us. I rested my head in my palms. Out of the corner of my eye, I stole greedy glances at him.

The trees were covered in lights and a cool breeze blew every once in a while. "Jera," Jacob said after a long break of silence.

"Yes?"

He paused. "Remember when I first came to live with the Cullens? Back in Forks?"

I turned my head to look at him. "Of course I do."

"That was before...now," he continued.

"Of course it was."

"Before it was normal to have a werewolf around."

"Yes..."

"So you remember that day. Then you probably remember this," he said producing a small box.

"Jasper gave you that." He nodded.

"Have you ever wondered what was in it?" I nodded sheepishly, remembering the times that I had tried searching our room for it. He handed it to me. I looked down at the tiny box. Carefully I opened it. Inside the box was a gorgeous diamond ring.

"Oh my God, it's incredible." I looked up, but Jacob wasn't there. He was now kneeling on the ground.

Quietly, he took my hand, and I understood. "Jera, please marry me," he whispered looking into my eyes. If I could have cried, I would have. I nodded my head. "Yes?" he asked unsure.

"Of course I will!" He stood up and we shared one of our most passionate kisses.

"You really have made me the happiest person alive."

I smiled as I hug him. "I wish I could say the same thing, but I'm techincally dead." He took my hand and silently placed the ring on the appropriate finger.

**That was a tricky chapter to write. If you want a picture of the ring, I can show it to you, but I don't feel like getting the link now.**


	24. Death

**Oh man, guys. I haven't updated in a long time. I hope you all will forgive me and still read. Trust me, this chapter will catch your attention. (But sorry bout any OCC, it's obviously been a while.)**

Jacob and I returned home in a happy blur. Alice, had already told the whole world -really just our family, but that was still a lot of people- about my news. When I opened the door, Gabriel flung himself onto me. Shortly after, Bethany and Anthony had attacked me.

Soon after that attack, another ambush occurred when the Cullen's arrived. At long last, we were able to sit down. Whereupon, Rosalie, Esme, and Alice took charge of wedding preperations. I gave Bella a wary look and noticed some sadness in her face. Why hadn't I noticed this before?

Luckily, the guys had somehow gotten sucked into the world of wedding plans and didn't notice as Bella and I slipped out of the room.

"I'm sorry," I said when we got to my room.

"For...?"

"Bella, I saw your face down there."

"It's not your fault. It's just that I still don't understand why Edward and I haven't got married yet."

"You have the rest of eternity to do so."

"I know, but...it's just..."

"I'm sorry."

"Listen, it's not your fault. You know, he and I spend all the time in the world together. And it's great, but there's something wrong. Before I couldn't place my finger on what's wrong. This may be it. It might be because we're not married. Rosalie and Emmett get married all the time."

"But do you think it really means anything? It's more of just a joke."

"At least they can say 'yes,' at the alter. What if Edward can't..."

Then, the phone rang. I sighed and rolled over the bed to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Hi, this is Jessica, is Jacob there?" I'd never heard this girl before. I mentally shrugged, at least it wasn't Rollin. Probably just some girl from a class.

"Uh, yeah, hold on." I held my hand over the handle. "It's for Jake, can you go get him?" Bella gave me a quick peeved look but then rushed down the stairs to tell him. In a matter of seconds she was back. I held the receiver up to my ear just as Jacob picked up the other end. I placed the phone back on the cradle and turned back to Bella. "Sorry..."

"Stop apologizing."

Edward came into the room. Bella looked surprised, and I could tell that she was hoping he hadn't heard anything that she said. "Jera," he started. "Jake's dad, Billy, just died. That's his sister telling him to come to the funeral."

"But..." I started.

"Yeah, I know, he's banished. But I guess it doesn't matter right now."

"How long will he be gone?"

"Alice said that it should only be a little while...the funeral's only in two days. She already has plane tickets for him."

"I didn't know he had a sister..." I started.

"Two," Bella offered. Why did he not tell me that? "They're twins..."

"You don't think I should go, right?" I asked the two. They shook their heads simultaneously. "That's what I thought. So...he's leaving tomorrow?"

Edward nodded his head. "There's a lot to go over. You know?"

"I guess...when will he be back?"

"Soon."

"That's not specific. We'rd getting married!"

"Not any time soon," he paused. "Besides, you know that those crazy vampires downstairs will make the wedding more extravegant than needed." I sighed. "Don't worry, the days will pass like," he snapped his fingers, "that. The Volturi take more time to blink."

"Don't remind me of the Volturi," Bella said, tired -if possible- at the thought. He smiled and quickly planted a light kiss on her neck.

"I miss your pulse," he murmered. I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room.

---

The days did pass quickly. I guess that's an advantage of being a vampire: time comes and goes faster. The house had been cleared so Jacob and I could have some "alone time." He arrived home with a solemn expression on his face. I couldn't blame him though, I died when my parents died, literally. Then, I noticed that Jacob didn't bring his suitcases back.

"Jake?" I asked.

"I...I'm...going back to La Push."

"What? Why!?"

"They don't really have a leader anymore."

"There's Sam."

"He doesn't count..."

"Why not? It's not like you guys have chiefs now."

"That's not the point!"

"What is it then? Jacob, have you ever stopped to think that your people would rather have me dead? They'd be glad to do it too! That's why you are what you are. And now, after you got yourself banished and got engaged to me, you want to go back to them? Unbelievable."

"You don't understand..."

"You're right, I don't! But I don't want to!"

"Why not? They are just like me; they're my people! Listen to me, Jera."

"What?"

"They need me, and I need you. Come with me."

**(Ick, I hate how corny I can be sometimes) Ugh...it's short sorry.**


	25. Arguments

**Hey all. I'm dissappointed :(. Last chapter got one review. Have I really lost you all? I have over ten alerts... Can you guys please review? I promise to get the chapter up sooner! Oh yeah, I also have a new story up. But I won't let it compromise for this story.**

Well that was definately a shock. "Jake...I can't exactly... Wern't we just...?"

"Listen, I want you with me. You need to be there."

"But... I'm a...and your people are ah..."

"I. Don't. Care."

"They. Do." I sighed and turned away. "Don't you understand? I could be killed any moment... They hate me. Everyone would notice something's wrong with me..."

"Nothing is wrong with you," he said through clenched teeth.

I shook my head. Why did he have to be naive? I looked at him. He's sure cute at being so though... Stop, argument, remember? "Not to you. But to _them._ They out number you. It doesn't matter what you think. I still don't understand why you have to go. None of this makes any sense at all. Jake, we're getting married! I can't get married in La Push! The Cullens couldn't come. Bethany and Anthony probably wouldn't be able to stand the smell! And, I am not letting Gabe come by himself! Why are you doing this to me?" I was about to cry...well, if possible.

He put a hand on my shoulder. "Jera..."

"Don't, you don't have anything to justify this with."

"Maybe I don't. To me this is right, though."

"Then, maybe we shouldn't be together." I know I was being stubborn, but desperate times call for desperate measures. This was definately a desperate time.

Even though I wasn't looking at him, I could feel his stare. "I need you to know..." he said gently. I squeezed my eyes closed. This could either make me or break me. "That I know you with all my heart, but I've made up my mind. I will be going whether or not you're coming with me."

"Well this sucks," I muttered out loud. He hoarsely chuckled.

"I'm not saying that we have to be there forever. Most of the people there don't know that the legends are true. It would be easier if they didn't need to know."

I was silent. "How long?"

Jacob sighed. That wasn't a good sign. "I donnu, a couple of month or so..."

"What about school? Dance? My friends? You realize that some people here are actually my friends, right?"

He waved his hand away, "School doesn't matter at all; you know that. Dance...well...I know you like it, but it's really not needed either. You have time to say good bye to your friends. You weren't banished," he said the last word darkly.

I wanted to shout at him. _I_ told him to not get banished, but what does he do? _He_ gets banished. He does it on his own. "Rollin?" I asked, knowing I was treading in dangerous waters. Looking up, I wasn't surprise to see his eyes cold.

"What about her?" A small shake started at his spine.

"Oh, no you don't, mister. You've been perfectly fine with your temper for the longest time. No way, you hear me? No way are you screwing up!"

He pointed his finger at me. "I'm always the one to screw up according to you."

"That's not true."

"Then why do you make it seem like that?"

"I make it seem like that when you fucking screw up!" I heard the car shut off outside. "Don't come in!" I shouted angrily.

"Why does Rollin have to be apart of this?"

"I don't know!" I replied sarcastically. "Maybe because you screwed up! You couldn't control your temper. And _you_ bit that girl some five years ago. Then _you_ had a romantic relationship with her. But, oh, what? She got banished. _You _didn't go after her. Instead _you_ fall in love with me and move here. And so when the past comings knocking on the door like that, there's only one person's-"

The front door open. Bethany stuck her head in the door. Both Jacob and I were glaring at her. "Uh...sorry?" she tried.

"I thought I said not to come in."

"Well...ah...Gabe wanted to play with the dog." She stood there smiling. I continued to glare at her. "So...I guesss I'll get...him." A few seconds later, she was dragging Rocket by the collar out the door. It slammed shut and we were both quiet for a moment.

"Like I was saying..." Jacob started.

"_No._ I was the one talking. If the past comes back to bite us in the ass like that, then it is your fault!"

"Why?!"

"I told you why! Do you ever pay attention to anything I _ever_ say?"

"Yes! Jera! Come with me to La Push!"

"How many questions are you going to ask me?"

"What?"

"First you ask me to marry you. Now this. What's next?"

"I don't mean to... When I asked you my dad was alive..." He trailed off and looked away. I eyed him. It wasn't grief in his face, at least, it wasn't the main...

"What did you do?" I asked, pretty sure I had the right idea.

He looked up at me. "My father just died!" I looked at him knowingly. "Ok! I told him! I called him up and told him that I was going to ask you to marry me. He was mad...told me that he hated me more than he had before. He said that I brought disgrace upon the tribe."

"You think you killed him?" He nodded. "And so you want to make it up to your people for what you did to their leader-esque person?" Another nod. I bit my bottem lip. "How is bringing me there gonna make things any better?"

"I don't know..." I sighed frustrated. Having to get out of this house, I picked up my keys. "Where are you going?" he asked, eyes wide.

"I need to think." I reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "Just let me think."

As I walked out the door, Jacob stopped me. "Jer?"

"Yeah."

"Don't think too hard," he said laughing a little. "We all know that sometimes it hurts your head."

"Ok, Jake," I responded, not amused. "I'll do that."

**Boom! Over 1,000 words. Longer than the last 2 chapters. :D **

**Oh! And survey! See last chap 25, I started on the first chap of this story. **

**Do you think this will be a trilogy? (I already know. I'm wondering about you.)**


	26. Relief

I could think of one person who would have all the answers: Alice. The problem was, I didn't know if she would tell me what she saw, (because I know she does) if I asked.

The whole situation was very frustrating. I mean, I could be killed my first day there. Did Jacob take nothing into consideration? For God's sake we are engaged now. Can we really just uproot ourselves like that? And after that Mike fiasco...

"Fuck," I muttered to myself, half-referring to the red light.

In a matter of minutes I was at the Cullens' house. By this time I was so confused by my thoughts that I was swearing to myself that I would tear Alice limb from limb if she didn't tell me. "Alice," I called out in the huge house. I had used my own key to get in. "Alice Cullen, get your tiny little butt down here now or so help me God-"

"I'm here, jeez calm down."

I turned to her and looked down into her eyes. "You know why I'm here."

"Yes, I do."

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" She shook her head. I narrowed my eyes and growled. "Thanks _so_ much for the help."

"Hey, Jer," Edward said, coming towards us. "What's up?" Alice locked eyes with him and for a couple of seconds she shared some thoughts with him. "Interesting," he said. "Listen, I know it's hard to love someone tha-"

I shook my head. "Stop right there. Yes, you loved a human. Key word: loved, as in the past tense. See? That whole thing is fixed now. I on the other hand am not in love with my meal. I'm in love with my mortal enemy. That's not fixable. And now, now, he wants me to move into a town where most vampires don't dare to step foot in. So tell me, oh wise one, how on earth am I supposed to fix that?"

"Don't go," he said simpley, shrugging his shoulders.

I stomped my foot and growled. But before I could say anything, Alice intervened. "She does have a point, little Eddie. Not to mention that she's supposed to get married to Jake." I sighed; Alice was on my side. "Besides, I couldn't help or come to the wedding if they were in La Push."

"Who says there's even going to be a wedding anymore?" I muttered under my breath.

Alice placed her hand lightly on my shoulder. "Don't get so down about it. I know this will be a difficult decision, but everything will work out if it's meant to be." Easy for her to say. "Just stay here and relax a little. Being around Jake right now isn't going to help you in the least bit. Oh! I know! We can go shopping! Let's bring Bella!"

There was a thud from upstairs. "What?" Bella cried.

"You heard me, Miss Swan. Now come on! It's time for retail therapy."

"Well," I said, giving into Alice's wishes. "I do like shopping."

"Who doesn't?"

"Me!" Bella cried once more from upstairs. "I'm not coming!" Edward looked at Alice and she nodded. The next second, he was gone. "Stop!" Bella shouted. "No fair! Stop, stop, stop! You are supposed to be on my side! You know what? That's it!" A couple seconds later, Edward was struggling with an invisible body down the stairs.

"A...little...help, guys?" he asked. "She's much stronger than she was...a couple...years ago..." With that, Edward fell down the stairs, still clutching the invisible body.

I lifted Bella up out of Edward's hands. "Ack!" she called out becoming visible. "I hate you!"

"Me?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"No!" she pointed toward Edward. "Him!" He got up and kissed her on the lips.

"How about now?" he asked slyly.

"Well...I...hey!" He kissed her again. "Ok! I love you!"

"I love you too sweetie."

Alice stuck out her tongue. "Please! Let's get out of here. I'm about to puke at their sugary goodness."

"Thank you," I said while dragging Bella out the door.

"I'm going to sue you both!" she said to Alice and me.

"For what?" I asked laughing.

"Yeah," Alice joined in. "Are you going to tell the judge that we're using our vampire abilities against you? I think you'll spend some fun time in the cuckoo's nest."

Bella threw her hands up in the air, surrendering. "Alright, alright! I'll come. Just let me go!"

"You promise to be good?" Alice asked. She nodded her head. "And try on what we ask you to?" She hesitated for a moment, then nodded her head again. "Promise not to go AWOL on us?" One more nod. "Fine, you can let go now."

I promptly released my grip on Bella who fell to the ground. "Sorry," I managed while trying to stifle a laugh.

"Yeah...sure," she said, sticking her tongue out at me.

**Sorry it's short and it took me forever to post. I had eight million tests and essays due.**


	27. The chapter that took forever to appear

**Wow guys sorry it's been such a long time. Yes I am going to finish this story I was just waiting for summer to do so. So anyway, with that out of the way here's the next chapter.**

I had to be out of my mind. They really should have taken me in to get my head checked. Honestly, what was I doing? I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. If I was still human I probably would be hyperventilating. Thank God I wasn't.

The cool air conditioning of the airport felt good against my face. Being in a plane with _so_ many people for _so_ many hours really had not made this decision any better. I walked promptly to the luggage claimed and grabbed my three big suitcases. What I didn't have with me now had already been taken to La Push with Jacob.

I smiled at the thought of how ridiculous and overwhelmed I must have looked. Two rolling cases in each hand and my carry-on and another suitcase slung around my right shoulder. As a mass wave of people came, I decided to get the hell out of the airport.

The conditions in Port Angeles were cold. Luckily, dark clouds loomed overhead. I scanned the crowd for Jacob he said he would be able to pick me up. But I wasn't sure if he would really show. It kind of frightened me that I even thought of it that way, but ever since his father died he had been immersed with this whole pack thing that he got himself out of in the first place.

I sat down on one of my suitcases. I figured it might be a while. I felt uncomfortable. People stared at me as they passed by – mainly guys of course. But I couldn't get over the feeling...

The wind picked up just a little, but it was enough for me to catch that horrifying stench. Werewolf. I turned around. A tribe boy was standing there. His face was trying to contain a grimace and his eyes were cold. So Jacob had decided not come after all.

Without saying anything, I got up and grabbed my bags. The wolf leaned over to help me with them – odd really, but I glared at him and he instantly backed off. I saw a little shiver run through his body. Somebody didn't know how to control his temper...or he was cold...

I followed the wolf and he brought me to a beat-up Chevy van. I wasn't too pleased that I would have to ride in a car with a wolf other than Jacob, but it wasn't like I really had a choice. He opened the trunk for me and I flung my belongings into it. I took note of his disgusted look. I rolled my eyes and walked away.

The ride to my new home wasn't fun to say the least. The plus side of being technically dead is that I didn't have to breathe the whole way which was good because I'm sure that the car reeked of that horrible smell. I smiled at the thought that his ride was worse because he couldn't hold his breath that long.

We arrived at Jacob's house. I remembered it from the long time ago that he had actually lived there. Now, I guess he lived there again. And I was too as well. The wolf opened the house with his own set of keys. I retrieved myself from the back of the car and brought them in. Then, the wolf tossed me the set of keys and left.

Nice welcome.

The house smelled like him. It was probably the nicest thing I had all day long. I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. My mind wasn't really on it though. I was backtracking the past few weeks. It was all really a blur. My going away party was mixed in with the day Jacob told me he wanted to move. And the proposal was messed together with this day. It was safe to say I was a mess.

At least I had Jacob. But then I stopped. Did I really? We were supposed to get married. Weren't we? And I refuse to have a marriage without the Cullens, but how were we supposed to get a bunch of vampires in the same church as werewolves without there being some kind of big fight? And how many times had I thought about this?

The front door clicked. I prayed it was Jacob. It wasn't. A different wolf walked in this time. I was fuming. How come I could see all these random dogs that hated me, but the only one I actually gave a damn about never was around.

I needed to calm down. It had only been a few hours since I got to La Push. He would come. He was just busy... Doing what? Was that skank Rollin around?

What was wrong with me?

Well, for one there's no one around to keep me sane. So my sanity is probably still sitting on that plane. I needed...closure.

I dug through my bags, where was my phone? At long last it was found. Speed dial 2. I put the phone to my ear. One ring. Two rings. Would that woman pick up her phone already?

"Hello?" came the voice from the other line.

"Bethany, thank God you picked up!"

"Jer, why are you calling me? Shouldn't you...well, you know...be making up for lost time?"

I rolled my eyes and smiled. This was exactly what I needed. "Well I would once he comes around."

"He didn't pick you up?"

Plopping back onto the couch I sighed. "Nope, he made one of his dogs pick me up."

"Men." We both laughed lightly. "Well why don't you watch TV?"

"I tried. But I'm absolutely loosing my mind."

"Like you ever had one."

"Hey!"

"I only speak the truth."

"Sure you do." I decided in changing the topic. "How's Gabe?"

"He misses you, but I think he'll live." I laughed a little at her humor.

"Anthony?"

"Working, like always... Here let me save you some time. Everyone here misses you. That Sue girl came wondering where you were. I said rehab-"

I was startled. "You better be joking," I said with a dark undertone.

"Of course I am. Well anyway, Scarlett wants to make sure you stay in touch with her and all. That's about it though..."

"Don't hang up on me."

"What else is there to talk about?"

"I don't know...just talk."

So she did. Bethany talks very well, and by that I mean a lot. So i was able to keep my mind busy for three hours until Jacob came home. He broke into a grin as soon as he saw me, but I wasn't smiling.

"It's so good to see you again!" he said rushing over to me, obviously not understand the "I'm pissed at you face." However he soon got the picture when he tried to kiss me and I smacked him away. "What's wrong?" he said rubbing his cheek.

"You're late."

"What do you mean?"

"I moved for you. The very least you could do is give me a warm welcome. But, no. I get here and some random dog that smelled really bad comes to get me. No hello. Nothing. And then I wait in this empty house until you decide to come home hours later! Are you having an affair?"

He chuckled at my outburst. I growled at him. "I'm sorry, but you just look so cute when you're mad." I rolled my eyes. "Why would I have an affair anyway? I've got you..." I rolled my eyes again. He sighed. "I really missed you," Jacob said after a while.

"I missed you too," I muttered.

"Come on, cheer up."

"What's there to be happy about?" And he just looked at me. I wasn't sure if he had an answer or if it was supposed to be implied. "Do tell."

"We're getting married..."

I laughed. "Oh yes. I'm so excited to have my wedding with a bunch of my enemies and no friends or family."

"Who said that-"

"Think about it, alright? I'm just...I'm going to go get some sleep."

"You don't sleep, Jera."

"I know... I know..."


	28. Chapter that took forever to appear 2

**Wow I haven't updated in a while. Yes I will finish this. I haven't written the next chapter. However, I wrote this one a while ago so although its short its somin.**

When Jacob came into our room that night, I didn't so much as move. He came to the bed soon after, so I started squaring every number to keep my mind as far off into space as possible. Much to my surprise, he didn't say anything. Instead, I just heard the click of the light going off and did math in my head the entire night. It was very strange of him to not try to say anything, but it was a nice change of pace. Even though it was welcomed, it made me a little afraid.

Morning soon came. I heard him wake up and get ready, but I still didn't do anything. I kept my eyes closed and continued doing my math. It was awkward when he kissed me and said goodbye, because it wasn't like I could pretend I was asleep. He knew I was awake, and there was no way for him not to.

After he left, I felt a pang of guilt. He had gone through so much and done so much for me. I had been really selfish yesterday. Sure he hadn't come to pick me up or anything, but he had probably been busy. And at least he was happy to see me. I decided to make it up to him somehow. Maybe for once I could admit that I was wrong...maybe.

Soon after getting ready, I decided what to do for him. I noted that the kitchen was nearly empty, and although I didn't eat, he did. I grabbed my wallet and went off for the grocery store. Yes, I didn't know where I was going...or have a a car, but I'd just walk until I found the place.

Luckily I was able to find a store nearby. It wasn't a chain supermarket or anything, but it had food. I walked onto the creaky wooden porch that led into the store. Pushing the door open, I was greeted by the smell of a hell of a lot of human food. It made me want to gag. A man near the entrance stopped and stared at me. I smiled, but he still turned away.

I busied myself getting all the nauseating things that Jacob like to eat. I pretended not to notice how nobody ever came close to me or anything at all. They had very good instincts, I had to admit. I sighed and finished up quickly, bringing my basket full of things to the counter. The man working there was darked skinned and in his late 50's. He eyed me nervously but began to check my items.

"You're new around." It wasn't even a question.

"How can you tell?"

"I've seen everyone that's ever come here, and that's pretty much everyone around here. Who are you?"

"Jera."

"Why are you here?"

I was a bit taken aback by this guy's abruptness. "I'm Jacob Black's fiancée."

"Jera Black? No offense but I don't like it. It's good to have that boy back. It's a shame that old Billy died. But anyway, you two are getting married awfully young."

"You don't know that half of it."

The man stopped scanning and looked at me right in the eyes. "And what would that half be? Maybe you're the one who's in the dark."

"Trust me, I'm not."

"You can never be sure."

"You're right about that."

He frowned again. "To be honest, I don't like the looks of you. I really don't like it. It was weird enough that one day Jacob was just gone. But it's also weird that he didn't come back at all for years until his old man died." With that he was silent until he had finished checking everything. I left the store knowing that this was just the start of the kind of treatment I would get around here.

I came home and was very surprised to find Jacob already home. "Where have you been?" he asked as I walked in the door.

"I went out to go get you some..."

"You shouldn't leave here without me or someone in the pack knowing where you are. It's not safe. What if one of them are doing patrol? They can't tell your smell differently than another vampire's what if you get killed?"

"I won't."

"You can't be sure of that though."

"I was just trying to do something nice."

He sighed. And rubbed the back of his head. "I know, but I want you safe. We can get into fights all the time. But we can't if one of us isn't here anymore. Please...just so I don't have to worry. Just tell me next time you go anywhere... I have to go now."

As he left, he kissed me goodbye. I felt bad. Not so much that I had made Jacob worry, but because I was now a prisoner of this house. It was ridiculous and childish. Actually, it was plain infuriating. I could fend for myself. I also would smell some stupid dog long before it actually got near me.

I sat down and watched TV. I am going to be so pissed if I spend the rest of my immortal life as a couch potato.

My life soon became mindless and perpetually boring. The only time I ever got any excitement was when I went hunting or out into public to have a bunch of people stay a safe distance away from me. I didn't care, but it still was a nice change of pace. Nothing really interesting though. No friends that lived in the same state and no real good fights. It stayed that way for months.

**Sorry about the shortness of the chapter. **


	29. Stupid Life

Life was dull. Dull, dull, dull, dull. After three months of basically doing nothing, I was getting restless. I could feel it. Sure I had gone hunting in that time, but only for what I needed. Those wolves made a big fuss whenever I killed anything. Please, they would overpopulate without my regulation.

Jake had little time for me at all. He was always unresponsive whenever we did talk. Any mention of marriage went out the door. I yearned for little bits of news from my families. I had just been reunited with Anthony and Bethany and now I hardly hear from them. Same with the Cullens. Sure they all try to stay in touch, but let's face it they have other things to worry about.

Apparently, back home that crazy werewolf Rollin was still wreaking havoc. Had she not realized that Jacob wasn't there anymore? Actually I didn't care she might as well take him. I'm sure his beloved pack would take her back in better than how they've been accepting me now.

My mouth was practically getting no use at all. Nobody spoke to me in La Push. I didn't try to speak to them.

I seriously might have ripped out all my hair, because it was so boring. But I didn't want to spend the rest of eternity bald. So that was ruled out.

Someone walked in the door. A couple weeks ago I had hoped that it would be Jacob, but I learned not only not to get my hopes up but also that Jacob was not something to look forward too anymore. I was pretty pissed because all I ever did was sit on the couch and wallow in my thoughts. Accidentally, I growled.

Now, I don't know the names of any of the wolves in the pack. But I do know that they are, like all other wolves, hotheads. So naturally, me growling at one of them is not going to turn out well.

The dog stopped in his tracks. I could practically hear his body stiffening up. I knew he was trying to suppress his anger. I was just hoping he would get out of here without any trouble.

Like that was going to happen.

"You've got a problem with me _leach_?" the wolf snarled. I involuntarily snorted. Another mistake. Was I trying to get myself killed? The dog was obviously irritated and stormed over to glower down at me. "I should be here. You shouldn't."

"Maybe you are right," I said quietly not taking my eyes off him. For a while I had been thinking about moving back home, but I could never find the strength to. It seemed that I might be at a snapping point.

The wolf wasn't pleased with my answer. His face was all red, and his body was shaking. I had agreed with him, hadn't I? Was that not good enough? "Are you mocking me?" he asked, teeth clenched.

"Uh...no. Look relax, you look like you might explode-" Then he burst into his wolf form. "-any second... Okay looks like you already did..." The wolf growled at me. The thing was enormous; if it stood up all the way, it would have put a hole through the roof. This tiny house was definitely not the best place for a fight.

That was the problem with these things. They are flawed! I mean sure vampires are no better, but aren't these things supposed to protect people from us? I mean how can they protect people when they get pissed off and blow up into this huge animal all the time? I'm surprised that everyone in this town is still alive!

The wold swung its mammoth paw at me. Luckily, I was faster than it and moved out of the way. I wasn't sure whether I should have fought the hothead or not. There weren't many hiding places because the thing was so huge. So it continued on like that for a little. Swipe. Jump. Swipe. Jump.

Then I remembered this nifty little thing. I can control stuff. That might have come in handy in the first place. However, this place is so dull and monotonous that the only thing I use my powers for now is...well, nothing. It's not like I could use them to get a pop out of the fridge if I was too lazy to get up. After all, I'm a vampire.

So the next time the dog swiped his paw at me, I froze it mid-strike. It was pretty amusing to see his eyes bulge when he realized that I was stopping his paw. It felt good to use my powers again...very good. I smirked at the little pup.

I needed him to regain his human form. This huge wolf in the little house thing was not working very well. I wasn't sure how long it would take him to calm down, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.

Could I use my powers to do that? I could try to reconstruct his figure until it was human again, but that would probably be hard and risky. But what about mind control? I could control object. Wouldn't that include the mind? I'd never really thought of it before.

I closed my eyes, remembering to keep a firm grasp on his movements. I knew how minds worked. After all, I used to be able to read minds. All I needed was to get a connection to his mind and then... I don't know. How do wolves change forms? I'd worry about that later. First, I needed to get to his mind.

That turned out to be easier than I thought. Connecting to a brain was very similar to connecting with an object you couldn't see. However, it was filled with consequences. I gasped as I realized that I was hearing the wolves thoughts. Then a wave of memories and emotions flooded over me. For a second I could not breathe. I needed to get this over with.

My first tactic was to search for a memory of him changing forms, so I could use that as a blueprint. However, searching for one little memory when all of them keep hitting you like a bus is as pointless as looking for a needle in a haystack.

I just needed to do it. His thoughts were nagging me. He was very whiny, and I don't think he noticed me in his head. _Go back to human._ That sounded incredibly stupid. But I didn't know what to tell it to do! I'd never done this before.

However, I guessed it worked. He started howling. I started screaming. Because apparently when I was in his head I felt what he felt. And changing into a human is extremely painful. I opened my eyes to get out, but I was still attached in his mind. The sight I was greeted with wasn't very fun either.

In front of me stood this wolf, slightly smaller than it had been just minutes ago, but it was starting to receive human features. This process was slow too. It never took Jacob that long to change. Maybe I had done something wrong. Oh shit! I started panicking. This made the pain increase.

_Please speed up._ I begged his mind. Thankfully it did. In a few milliseconds, the pain stopped and a human stood in front of me...a naked human. I gasped and turned away. "I'm sorry," I said quickly. The wolf growled at me, but said nothing more.

I sat back down on the couch, not really sure what to do next. The pup continued to glare at me. However, he was afraid of me now and obviously didn't want to disturb me.

He walked into the master bedroom. What was he doing there? I didn't want another episode of what just happened so I just left him alone. A few minutes later, he came out with Jacob's clothes on. Why was he wearing Jake's clothes? I then noticed a scrap of fabric sitting next to me on the couch. Oh...

The dog soon left, and I was left to sit in my thoughts again. Did mind controllers have to go through that all the time? Probably not. I was different than them. I don't think I was even supposed to do that. Then I noticed that my mind was no longer connected to the wolf's.

Ugh...I was so confused.


	30. Time to Go

"What did you do?" Jacob roared as he stormed into the house.

Great, now I was in trouble with the big bad wolf.

"It was his fault. If he just knew how to control his temper or at least knock before he entered this house, then it wouldn't have happened."

He glared down at me. I stood up, to show him that I was not in the least bit afraid of him. "You attacked him," he said through clenched teeth.

"I can't believe you are going to believe that pup's word over mine! He attacked me! Anything I did was out of self defense. It was to make sure I didn't die."

"I thought I could trust you!" His face was red with anger. He lifted up his hand, as if he was going to hit me. I noticed him starting to shake. I'll be dammed –no pun intended- if I let to wolves lose their tempers in this house today.

"First of all, you better not even be thinking about hitting me with that hand Jacob Black. Sure, it won't hurt me at all, but I will be even more pissed than I am already." He lowered his hand.

"Good," I said, satisfied, but still getting angrier by the second. "Also, you should have better control over yourself. I thought only worthless little pups lost their temper so easily…"

"How dare you call my pack worthless," he snarled.

I looked around. "They sure are worthless to me! I've gotten nothing at all from moving here. I've lost things!"

"Like what?" he scoffed.

"My friends, my freedom, my family, you! Everything is gone!"

"What the hell is wrong with you? I'm right here. I have never been gone."

I wanted to strangle his neck in frustration. "Are you fucking kidding me? You are never "home." I don't even think I can call it that. And when you are, you don't pay the slightest bit of attention to me!"

"Jera, you are acting like a child!"

"Don't lecture me! I am decades older than you!"

"Then start acting your age!"

"I'm not the one who came in here with a hot head," I said coolly. A plan had begun to develop in my head. It was going to screw him over.

"I had every right to come into my home after your action!"

"You are absolutely right," I quietly agreed.

Jacob studied me for a bit, confused. "Yes…I am." The plan was in affect. It was working well too. He knew something had changed in this argument. However, guys are never smart enough to figure that even though I was agreeing with whatever they said, I was about to win this battle.

"You know, how could I have ever been so blind? I don't even know why I am overreacting so much. Thank you in helping me see the error of my ways." The last part of it had a bit of venom in it.

He just nodded, a small smile making its way onto his lips. Now it was my time to attack. I turned and walked a little in the direction of our room. After a couple of steps, I turned my head to look at him. "I just didn't think you were as closed-minded as your pack." With that said, the plan was finished and I continued walking to the room.

When I closed the door behind me, I heard him snort. Then he said, "Whatever that means…" He obviously had forgotten that I could still hear him. A few seconds later I heard the front door close. He had left to do some Indian victory ceremony or something.

Everything was right on schedule.

I laid down on the bed and tried to relax a little. I had already won this fight. He didn't know it, but soon enough he would. And I couldn't wait.

After a few minutes of silence, my cell phone rang. I rolled over on my bed and picked it up. The caller ID let me know that it was Bella calling.

"Hey, long time no talk," I greeted her.

"Uh…Jer…" she started. That wasn't a good sign. I was suddenly alert.

"Bella, what is it? What's wrong?" Had somebody been hurt? My mind started racing with all the possibilities of things that might have gone wrong. What had happened?

"Jera, please calm down. This isn't easy to say."

"Spit it out right now, or get somebody else on the phone," I demanded.

"Uh…"

I sighed, frustrated. She was going to take forever to tell. I snapped my phone shut. Then, I quickly dialed Alice's phone number.

"What the hell happened?" I growled into the phone, when she picked up on the first ring.

"Calm down."

"You don't have the right to tell me to calm down. Whose bright idea was it's to let Bella call me?"

"Okay. Fair enough. So, you remember Rollin right?" I growled at the bitch's name. "I'll take that as a yes," Alice said. "Well…she has killed somebody."

"WHAT?" I exploded. "Who the hell did she kill?"

"Sue."

My rage was fully lit now. I wasn't sure what exactly compelled this anger. It might have been the fact that the pup who tried to take away my boyfriend from me had killed someone because she was a freak of nature. But I think that down in there, the human was stirred up inside of me because one of my family members had just killed.

Either way, I was pissed. I quickly ended the call with Alice and shut off my phone so none of them would try to call me and talk "reason" into me.

Alice would already know by now what I was planning on doing.

I was going to kill Rollin.

I'm pretty sure, though, that Alice would be confused as to why I was moving out of La Push. Well, she would find out soon enough.

However, before I left, I wanted to end this battle. I wanted to hurt Jacob bad. He was going to pay for using me like he did. He was going to pay for making me think that I could have possibly ever loved him.

Revenge is supposedly bad for the soul, but it wasn't like I was ever going to die. I could give a rat's ass about my damn karma.

I packed all my things. Everything I had. I would never be coming back here. I finished before Jacob came back. My thoughts began to circulate in my head. This was all Jacob's fault.

He is the reason why Rollin is a werewolf. He is the reason why I have spent the past few months rotting away. It was his entire fault. And he was going to pay dearly.

I grabbed all my bags and put them in the kitchen. I stood next to them. The kitchen was the ideal place, because it was located farthest from the entrance of the house.

Soon enough, the dog came into the house pissed. He slammed the front door behind him. "Jera?" he bellowed. I didn't answer. I heard his angry footsteps tromping through the house, looking for me.

At last, he found me.

"What on earth do you mean in calling my family closed-minded? You're kind have given us nothing but grief!" He continued ranting for a little. I sat there quietly waiting for him to notice my bags.

A few minutes later he did. By that time, he was running out of steam. "And…and…and" he looked at my bags and then at me. "Why do you have all your things in bags?" he asked at last. His voice nearly cracked. The hurt in his eyes was so obvious. It took all my self-control to not laugh at his pain.

"Why do you think?" I asked coldly.

"Are you…leaving?"

"Well, I guess you aren't as dumb as I thought, Jacob."

"But Jera…it is only one fight."

I snorted and grabbed my stuff. "You really haven't been paying attention at all, have you?" He stood there silently. I took a few steps forward. "Goodbye, Jacob," I whispered. I silently slipped my engagement ring off my finger and placed it in his hand.

His body began to shake. However, he did make any movement at all to stop me as I pushed my way through him. I walked out into the humid night. Taking a deep breath, I realized that I was free. At long last, I was free.

I had plenty of bags to carry, but they didn't weigh me down in the slightest bit. I began to run. The sun came up, and I kept running. I had to keep my mind off what I was doing so Alice wouldn't be able to see my next plan. I had no plan; I was going to let my instincts take over.


	31. Blank

**Second to last chapter, you guys. **

As soon as the sun started to set, I came out of hiding. There was no doubt that the Cullen's and my own family would be in search of me. I needed to do this fast. Revenge was close at hand.

I had purposely chosen a hiding spot that had a strong stench of werewolf. If Rollin had been here the night before, then there was no doubt that she'd be back. Tonight was a full moon and this spot was well hidden. She'd be here.

Looking up at the sky, I noted that it was cloudy out. This could work to my advantage. I had tried my best to cover my scent, but Rollin would probably still smell me. Whatever, I had an edge over her. I was pissed.

Her smell hit my nostrils before I even heard her. I shifted my weight slightly, waiting for the right time to pounce. A twig snapped from the movement.

"Who's there?" she asked worriedly. "Hello?" It was quiet for a moment. "I know somebody is here!"

She was hysterical. That just made this all the more entertaining for me. Her footsteps hastened; she was running. But the idiot was coming towards me. How much fun was that? Not very. No chase?

A few moments later, I heard her raspy pants. A branch snapped, and she moaned a little. That's when I smelt it, her blood.

Granted, it was werewolf blood. Therefore, it wouldn't be any good to drink. But it was still blood and it got me pumped. I sprang out from where I positioned myself. The last thing I recalled was her terrified eyes.

---

I don't suppose I ever lost consciousness, considering that was impossible. However, I assumed that my instincts had taken such great control over me that my brain blanked.

The next I remembered was me standing in the doorway of the house where my family resided. "Jera, I think you should sit down…" Bethany told me softly. I nodded and let her lead me to a chair.

"Hi, Bethany," I said. "Why am I here?" I felt so disconnected from myself.

"I was actually wondering if you could tell me that. Why aren't you with Jacob?" I growled in response to that name. The name of the stupid dog that I foolishly thought I loved. "Okay…touchy subject…"

"Where's Gabe?"

"He and Anthony went on a camping trip with some of the Cullens."

"Why aren't you with them?"

"I didn't need to go… Look," she said, changing the subject. "Why don't you go and take a shower? Clean up a little."

I nodded. "Are there towels in the bathroom?" She nodded. "Okay, I'll see you shortly."

I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Previously, I had definitely been a little out of it, but my reflection almost caused me to scream. I was covered in blood and dirt. My clothes were mangled. I snapped back into reality; I had killed Rollin.

What goes around, comes around, part of me explained. I nodded in agreement. That made sense. You kill innocent people, you die. That's karma. That's life.

Quietly I turned on the faucet to the shower. I left the water on cold. Warm reminded me of someone who I didn't want to think of.

A few minutes later, I came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. "Hey, do you have any clothes I can borrow?" I asked Bethany who was sitting at the computer and playing solitaire.

"Actually, I went out to go get you some clothes while you were in the shower. They're on the couch with a comb."

I nodded. "Thanks."

A while later, Bethany and I sat on the couch, pretending to watch the television. "Do you want to go visit the Cullen's?" she asked. I shook my head. They all would already know what I had done. I couldn't bear to face them now.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" I looked at her blankly. "Jera, you will have to tell me sometime. You can't expect to leave the subject untouched."

I let out a long breath. Bethany looked at me expectantly. Slowly, I began to recount what had happened in the past few days. She listened intently, never stopping. After, I had finished, a silence fell over us.

"Her funeral is tomorrow," she said softly. I kept staring straight ahead, allowing this to process in my brain. I saw Bethany looking at me with my peripheral vision. I just nodded. I wasn't really sure what to do anymore. "Are you leaving again?" she asked her voice quieter than before. I nodded again.

She rubbed my shoulder. "I won't stop you, Jer. But keep in touch, okay? Come visit. Just don't lose contact. Also, don't leave the Cullen's out in the cold."

"I won't."

"You're not yourself…"

"I know."

"Are you going to go find yourself?"

"Yes."

"Are you coming back?"

"Maybe."

"I'll miss you."

I looked at her and forced a smile, despite the fact that no where in my soul did I feel happiness. "I'll miss you too," I said as I hugged her.

"Take your credit cards with you."

I dryly laughed. "Will you cancel them on me?"

"Never. What good is a girl without a credit card?"

"Glad to know you're not materialistic."

She giggled. "I've missed you in this time you've been away."

I nodded. "I've missed you too."

"If you ever need to talk…"

"I know, I know." I said, rolling my eyes.

"I'll listen until my ear falls off!" she replied with a smile. "Stay safe, okay? Don't do anything stupid while you are away."

"What do you think I'm going to do?" I asked her. "Pull an Edward?" She raised an eyebrow. "Oh come on, I know you've heard of the time he went to Volturra to kill himself."

Bethany laughed. "Got it. Yeah, well I really don't hope you go screwing around with the Volturi. That is a sure fire way to kill yourself."

I bobbed my head up and down. "I know…I know…"


	32. Epilogue: Funeral

The sun was shining brightly in the sky. I wasn't so sure how fair it was that this day should be so beautiful. It was a day that one of my relatives was being buried. How fair was that?

I mean, sure we no longer shared the same blood. Mine had long since been gone; hers had just recently stopped moving. And we never really knew each other. However, this funeral felt like a burial of me.

It could have been the vengeance still talking. I didn't think it was though. With the death of Sue, I had died too, obviously, not in the literal sense. But something about her expiration made part of me die.

I no longer loved Jacob. Well, that wasn't completely true. It was more of the fact that I can't love him anymore. Luckily, I could feel less of me caring about him every minute. Most of me was numb.

That was a good word to describe it: numb. With every passing second, I felt myself becoming more of a third-party observer. It felt like I had the night before when I came to Bethany, detached. My life was becoming nothing more than a movie film playing in front of my eyes.

I stood away from the mourners -fifteen yards, to be exact. Standing in the shade of a large oak in the cemetery, I watched them bury Sue. The mass of black swarmed around the hole in the ground where her casket would soon be lowered. My distance did not prevent me from hearing the priest. I listened avidly.

Slowly, the mourners dropped flowers on the coffin, after it had been lowered into the ground. Silence overtook the cemetery as they dispersed. A man had already begun filling the hole. Locking, Sue six feet under to rest forever. How I wish I could do that.

A couple hours later, I was alone in the cemetery. I quietly made my way over to the fresh grave to pay my respects. For a while I just stood there in front of the grave, not exactly sure what to say.

"I'm sorry," I said at last. "You're death is my entire fault. It happened only because of me. I was being stupid and because of that, you had to pay the price. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…" I trailed off.

"I killed the terrible creature that killed you. Not that it makes it right. However, it does give me comfort… Why do I deserve comfort? This is all my fault… I really need to remember to repent for killing her…"

I sighed. My mind was a mess and here I was, talking to a grave. I laughed dryly. "I guess it's not too weird to talk to a dead person. Not in the _Sixth Sense_ way…this is more of a _Forrest Gump_ way.

"There was so much you never experienced… Once again, my fault. If it makes you fell any better, Sue, most of those things I've probably never experienced. I mean, I've experienced a lot, but this entire time… I've been dead…literally and psychically," I added.

"I hope you forgive me. I know that you don't see how your death tied into my fault. I know a lot of people blame themselves when tragedy strikes. However, this is a deserved blame. This was definitely my fault, and no one else's.

"I should have been there… I was being stupid. I was chasing something that I thought was real. I don't even know why I thought it was real… It took me longer than it should have to wake up from my dream. I should have been there…" I repeated.

I shook my head. "I'm loosing it. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm without a path, a plan, anything! I know that I have to take the next step alone though. If I bring someone with me from my life…my old life…things will just get messed up again. I have to do this alone. I have to leave the past behind…"

It was time for me to go. I knew it. I was ready, or as ready as I'd ever be. I took one last look at the grave and the then walked away. It felt like I was walking towards the future. All I could do was hope that it was a good one.

**So that's the end! I have to say. I think this one was pretty bad. ****Definitely shorter, but I could've done a much better job. ****Anyway, there's just one last story for Jera. (If you chose to read it.) ****However, that ending could always work if you don't. ****I'm much more excited about this one. It's been really fun to write that one so far.**


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